Hi, guys. Welcome back to the show. You are listening to style your minds. I am your host,

Kara Allwill, and I am so happy to be back with you today. So today we're going to talk

about how to get your power back in your dating life and your relationships, aka how to

stop being such a fucking psychopath when it comes to love. I heard a quote by Grace

Jones a few years ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. She said, in a room full

of people, want yourself first. In a room full of people, want yourself first. And it

got me thinking about how many times in my own life, I have put the person that I was

dating on a pedestal, and how easily I gave away my power once I caught feelings for somebody,

and once I formed an attachment to that person. All of a sudden, the way that they behaved,

the way that they engaged with me, would dictate my entire mood. If I didn't hear from

this person for like a day, or a couple days, or even a week, or a few weeks, I wasn't

an immediate spiral. I would start to replay our last conversation. I would think about

our last date. I would think about the last time we had sex, and I would start overthinking.

Like, oh my god, did I do something? Did I turn him off? Did I say the wrong thing? Did

I look ugly that day? Like all of the crazy thoughts would come into my head. And I would

suddenly feel like shit, and I would suddenly feel like I wasn't worthy of this person anymore

because they were sending me a signal that they didn't want me. And if they didn't want

me, who else was going to want me? But I never stopped to ask myself, like, first of all,

do I even want this person? Right? In reality, I should have been turned off by this guy's

lack of interest. I should have been asking myself, why am I still choosing him if he is

not choosing me? So we need to, as women, or men, if you're listening to this as a guy,

all are welcome. Right? But when you're in the position where you have disempowered

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