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For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Mary Katherine Backstrom On Finding Peace and Goodness in the Quiet of the Wilderness

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.6 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 30 July 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Description: What happens when the faith you were raised with no longer fits? Join us as we explore faith deconstruction and what it looks like to hold on to what matters while letting go of harmful narratives. Our guest, Mary Katherine Backstrom, knows this journey well. Once rooted in evangelical certainty, her world began to unravel—her marriage, career, and faith all shaken. In her raw and hilarious memoir, Not That Wheel Jesus, MK shares what it was like to question everything, wrestle with purity culture’s impact, and walk through the grief of lost certainties. As she puts it: “I walked through the rubble, I danced in the fire pits with my friends, and I've emerged into this quiet post-apocalyptic space where I can hear my own voice.” Whether you’re navigating your own faith shift or just curious, this conversation will resonate. And don’t forget—you can leave us your thoughts at jenhatmaker.com/podcast! Thought-provoking Quotes: “Everybody I speak to that's been on a growth journey of any sort—spiritual, emotional, whatever—you get to a point where you realize that confidence comes from not knowing everything and being at peace with what you can't figure out.” – MK Backstrom “It felt like I was looking at my life and feeling  like there's so much loss here, especially my sexuality. My church robbed me of joy. And that's the opposite of what was promised. Once I realized I participated in that behavior, I was able to make amends.” – MK Backstrom  “When I walk into that [church] space, it feels like going into a home where a child experienced abuse. I don't know that that's going to leave my body for a very long time. And it doesn't mean that I'm never gonna go back, but I also listen to myself better now and I'm not going to go somewhere where my body feels like it's on fire.” – MK Backstrom “My body is still responding to everything it's experienced for 40 years in the church. And I'm finally getting to the place where I'm starting to understand what my baseline feels like.” – MK Backstrom “If there is a God worth worshiping and there's a life worth living, those things can stand up to your big questions. No God is so fragile that your human curiosity is going to break this to pieces. No problem is so big in your life that you're not gonna get up and keep moving. There's a lot of freedom after the fear. Trust the process, ask questions.” – MK Backstrom Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Holy Hot Mess: Finding God in the Details of this Weird and Wonderful Life by Mary Katherine Backstrom - https://amzn.to/3ZV5GAi Not That Wheel, Jesus!: Stories From a Faith That Went Off-Road in the Best (and Worst) Possible Ways by Mary Katherine Backstrom - https://amzn.to/45KbY9v Rachel Held Evans - https://rachelheldevans.com/ Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church by Rachel Held Evans - https://amzn.to/4lxKkRY Dallas Willard - https://dwillard.org/ Sarah Bessey - https://www.sarahbessey.com/ Sex MeCourse - https://shop.jenhatmaker.com/products/sex-101 Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://www.drcelesteholbrook.com/ Guest’s Links: Website - https://www.mkbackstrom.com/ Twitter - https://x.com/mkbackstrom Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/MKBackstrom TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@marykatherinebackstrom Substack - https://marykatherinebackstrom.substack.com/ Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey everyone.

0:08.2

Welcome to the For the Love podcast.

0:10.8

Delighted that you are here.

0:13.2

My fearless companion, Amy is on vacation this week, so I am flying solo.

0:20.4

And I think what I want you to know about this next

0:23.7

hour you're about to have is that this was a firing on all cylinders conversation in which

0:34.2

I don't think one time I looked down at any of the questions I had prepared for my

0:40.7

guest because our conversation achieved liftoff in the first 30 seconds and never set back down.

0:48.8

And this is a real like back and forth between two women who have similar stories and a lot of shared experiences.

0:59.6

And I, I have a feeling that this is going to be one we get a lot of feedback on.

1:06.5

I have a feeling this is going to be one that you might want to share with your folks.

1:15.1

Today we are talking about what happens when the faith that you are raised with no longer fits.

1:23.5

And what it looks like, is it even possible to like hold on to the core, to hold on to

1:30.6

Jesus and also let go of the baggage and the trauma and the harmful narratives?

1:39.2

Our guest is the wise and the witty, the very fearless, Mary Catherine Baxter.

1:47.1

And you may know her from a whole bunch of her viral videos.

1:51.0

Like, we sort of discuss maybe this like last iteration, most recent iteration of herself.

1:59.8

That was like kind of an internet sensation, if you will.

2:04.2

She wrote a bestselling book called Holy Hot Mess.

2:06.9

And then she just has this online presence that is funny, it is honest, it is sincere,

2:14.7

it's transparent.

2:17.3

And she's got a brand new book out called Not That Wheel Jesus.

...

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