Marriage Burnout vs the Motivation to Change: Episode 347
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 11 June 2024
⏱️ 35 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
"How do I get my partner to _____?" This is one of the most common questions we get. Obviously this is referring to wanting a partner to change a behavior in a certain area of the relationship. Underneath that question is the real question of "what is going to motivate my partner?"
If you have ever had this experience of wanting your partner to change something, but they didn't, you likely felt discouraged or even burnt out. This was likely because you have been asking for things to change for some time now, but nothing did.
In this episode you will hear about the process of motivation and being able to achieve a result you have been wanting to have in your relationship. You will get the 6 steps of the decision making process and how to overcome the motivation threshold so that you do not feel that same burnout or discouragement from not seeing a change happen. In the end you will realize there was something even better for you than the goal you initially set out to achieve!
Relationship Resources:
1) For use in your "Evaluation Step" from the episode, here is the link to the Family Meeting Guide - https://thecouplesexperience.com/family
2) Start the level 1 Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge and get the Family Meeting guide as a free bonus. - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/
3) Start the level 2 Rebuiulding Us Couples Challenge - https://mycoupleschallenge.com/rebuilding
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast, where here you get modern, non-boring relationship |
| 0:06.1 | advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same team. |
| 0:11.8 | No matter the challenge that you face, I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. |
| 0:14.8 | And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know us as the Freeman's. |
| 0:17.5 | And this episode is about marriage burnout versus the motivation to change. |
| 0:22.8 | So one of the most common questions we get from a partner is how do I get my partner to |
| 0:28.9 | blank? Right. Fill in the blank with the different things that you're hoping for in the relationship, |
| 0:34.0 | which will be giving some examples throughout. Which means that you're hoping there will be some kind of a change in the relationship, which will be giving some examples throughout, which means that you're hoping |
| 0:38.0 | there will be some kind of a change in the relationship. And a lot of times it's like, I hope |
| 0:43.4 | there's some change in my partner, right? We're focusing on them. And this can be at any point in |
| 0:49.1 | the relationship. Earlier on, maybe you have young kids. You could have have teens you could be together 20 years these moments |
| 0:55.6 | can occur at any point we often find with couples that it's when they realize they're wanting |
| 1:01.6 | something like more connection less conflict better communication etc and then they find a resource |
| 1:09.9 | like ours you know they find a guide and they're like, |
| 1:12.1 | awesome. We can get better at repairing. We have this repair guide. Or they say, wow, there's a 30-day |
| 1:17.2 | couples challenge. We can focus on filling each other's love accounts and connecting more. |
| 1:22.1 | And so they find this resource. They want their partner to be on board. and at first a partner, whether they give like a |
| 1:29.1 | yeah, sure, or it's more like, fine, which we don't hope it's the latter response, you can reach |
| 1:35.6 | this point where you're disappointed because you don't really see the same effort in them. |
| 1:41.2 | And we know that is a disheartening, frustrating point to get to. Or for example, |
| 1:46.9 | you say, you know what, we're going to work on conflict. I really need you to stop, you know, |
| 1:51.8 | hitting below the belt by saying these things are yelling at me. And then your partner's like, |
... |
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