Managing expectations as a mother

My New Life

Kate Garlinge

Loveverytoddler, Toddlerplay, Toddlereducation, Playtolearn, Smartbaby, Babymilestones, Toddleractivities, Loveverybaby, Babyeducation, Strongtoddler, Toddlermilestones, Toddlersubscriptionbox, Toddlertoys, Earlylearningprogram, Babydevelopment, Sustainabletoys, Learningtoys, Learningthroughplay, Strongbaby, Babysubscriptionbox, Educationaltoys, Playkits, Parenting, Babytoys, Playtime, Toddlerdevelopment, Babyactivities, Smarttoddler, Lovevery, Kids & Family, Babyplay

4.7 • 654 Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2023

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

For the most part, limits provide a framework that helps everyone move through the day more fluidly, and with less friction. But on this episode of My New Life, we discuss limiting beliefs — beliefs that interfere with our own wellbeing and that of our family.

A big one is the notion that we can “have it all”. For parents who work outside the home, this can compound the pressure we already feel to be in more than one place at a time. And for parents who work inside the home, the line between family and professional needs gets easily blurred. Leaving everyone wondering: Am I a good enough fill-in-the-blank… parent? employee? boss?

Psychologist and motherhood coach Yara Heary knows this dance all too well, and she’s here to help us explore how these limiting beliefs show up for us, because being aware of these thoughts is the first step toward changing them. You can find Yara @lifeafterbirthpsychology.

Takeaways:

Host Jessica Rolph shared one of her own limiting beliefs: I’m not a present enough parent. Yara encouraged her to look at the standard to which she’s measuring her worth as a mother. Where did that standard come from? What is enough? This goes for any of the limiting beliefs we have.
Yara ascribes to the notion that you can have it all, but not all at the same time. There are seasons when one or another role is going to take priority. Give yourself permission to settle into the current role, knowing that there will come a time when you can switch hats.
When caring for young children, it can often feel like you haven’t “achieved” much. But that comes down to what we perceive as meaningful. If you write down all that you’ve ticked off in a day, it may be easier to re-evaluate those tasks as meaningful, valuable care-taking.
If you’re working outside the home and finding the separation painful, focus on 10 minutes of special time with your child each day. This is a time where the phone is out of reach and you’re following your child’s lead. If your child has trouble saying goodbye when you leave for work, talk about this special ritual you will have, when it will happen and what it will look like.

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Find Yara Heary @lifeafterbirthpsychology

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to My New Life, a Love Every podcast.
0:11.1	I'm your host, Jessica Rolf.
0:13.5	We talk a lot about connected parenting at Love Every.
0:16.7	Australian experts are ahead of the curve when it comes to building strong parent-child relationships.
0:22.8	In this mini-series, I'll speak with Australian parent educators, psychologists, and pediatricians about setting, loving limits.
0:32.5	For the most part, limits provide a framework that helps everyone move through the day more fluidly and with
0:37.9	less friction. But today, we're going to talk about limiting beliefs. Beliefs that interfere with our
0:44.0	own well-being and that of our family. A big one is this notion that we can have it all. For parents
0:51.1	who work outside the home, this can compound the pressure we already feel to be in more than one place at a time, wishing you could be at home when you're at work and shipping away at work expectations when you're at home.
1:02.7	And for parents who work inside the home, the line between family and professional needs gets easily blurred, leaving everyone wondering, am I a good enough fill in the blank,
1:11.8	parent, employee, boss? Psychologist and motherhood coach Yara Heeri knows this dance all too well.
1:20.2	And she's here to help us explore how these limiting beliefs show up for us because being
1:24.5	aware of these thoughts is the first step towards changing them. Welcome, Yara.
1:30.1	Hi, thank you so much for having me here. So what are some of the living beliefs that some of your
1:35.3	clients have? Yeah. You know, I work with mothers specifically and in that space, one of the things
1:42.4	that I hear a lot are beliefs around worthiness.
1:45.9	Things like, you know, I don't earn enough income so I can't put my kids in childcare
1:50.7	or I am not valuable enough to spend time or money on my own needs and my own desires.
1:58.2	Those are the sorts of things that I hear quite a lot.
2:01.0	And I think that if we internalize those kinds of beliefs, it makes it really difficult for
2:06.6	us to access joy and to access self-compassion.
2:10.3	How do we get clear about what our own limiting beliefs are?
	...

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