It's not "normal" to love someone who drinks too much or suffers from addiction, so we can't use "normal" relationship tools. There are common mistakes that we make when we're trying to help that might not actually be helpful at all.

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Here's a brief list of 7 mistakes you might be making:

1. You keep track of your partner's drinking.

If you tell your partner not to drink in the house, he or she will just find another location. If you throw out their liquor, they will spend more money replacing it. You have no control over his or her consumption of anything they put into their body.

2. You lecture him or her.

No matter how much you threaten your loved one, it won't change his or her behavior. Show them the consequences of their behavior with your actions, NOT your words.

3. You say mean things about them to your kids.

This is a major no-no. Your children need to feel safe. They have the right to form their own opinion about your loved one, not just inherit yours.

4. You look up recovery information for him or her.

That is not your job. Their sobriety will never last if the idea is coming from you. Don't drive him or her to meetings, buy books, or set up appointments.

5. You place your life on hold to focus on their issues.

Don't. Your dreams are important. Focus on your purpose. You were made with a gift. Are you using that special gift? When you do, it will fill you with such a great joy and that will start replacing the pain. Your life will be lived with purpose. 

6. You believe the lies.

You are smart. You're valuable. You are beautiful and you are kind. And anyone that tells you anything else is not someone you need to be listening to. Surround yourself with people who love you and create distance from those who don't.

7. You beat yourself up for not leaving them.

You know he or she can be awful. But you are smart enough to know that they are sick. And they're not all bad all the time. If you still love him or her and leaving is not a choice that you would like to make today or maybe any time in the future, that's okay. Let yourself stay committed to this relationship. Just make sure you're equally committed to your own healing and recovery.

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We go into way more detail about these mistakes plus teach you three of the most powerful tools that will take you from feeling scared about your future to gaining confidence about your decisions and giving you great hope in the Love Over Mistakes program. If answers, hope, and confidence are things you're looking for, join us for as little as $25.00 a month.