Loveable: One Woman’s Path from Good to Free with Amber Rae

Self-Helpless

Crossover Media Group

Comedy, Science, Alternative Health, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 • 3K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Delanie Fischer is joined by Amber Rae, author of Loveable, to unpack what it was like to fall in love—while married to somebody else. She shares her feelings, and logistics, around leaving a marriage that felt like a friendship, the days leading up to the decision (including the moment she knew it was time to go), transforming internalized shame, where both she and her ex-husband are at now in life and love, and lessons learned—as well as the ones that are a work in progress.

Plus:

+ 3 Game-Changing Tips for Writers and Creatives

+ What Your Anger Might Be Telling You

+ Amber's Favorite Journaling Exercise

Amber's new book, Loveable

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	I'm no good. I take in good advice and I'm self-careless so don't tell me twice that lately I've been so
0:11.8	stuck in my head that I forget just about everything my therapist said. Maybe I'm self-helpless. Hey everyone, welcome to self-helpless. I'm self-helpless.
0:25.6	Hey everyone, welcome to self-helpless. I'm Delaney Fisher. And today I'm chatting with Amber Ray, who is the author of Lovable. And this newest book of hers that comes out tomorrow
0:31.5	is about her experience, falling in love with someone while she was married to somebody else.
0:36.8	So we're talking about a lot of
0:38.5	stuff today, the feelings and logistics that arose because of this decision to leave her marriage
0:44.2	at the time. You'll hear more in a second, but she describes her marriage with her ex as a strong
0:49.3	friendship, but that it was lacking the romantic part of a relationship that she wanted. But she had gotten so used to telling herself that it was fine, everything was okay.
0:59.9	She was used to being a bit detached from her feelings and pushing things down.
1:04.9	And it didn't become very obvious how much she desired something different until a man befriended her and her husband
1:13.9	at this time. So we're touching on the days leading up to this decision to leave her marriage,
1:19.4	the moment she knew she wanted to leave, the thoughts she had about herself throughout the whole
1:23.9	process, you know, internalizing feelings of shame and being a homewrecker
1:28.5	and ultimately how she decided to speak to herself instead. The insecurities she felt with somebody
1:34.1	knew, where she's at today when it comes to a romantic relationship where her ex-husband is at
1:39.2	today and lots more. And Amber also shares how many people reach out to her to basically say,
1:45.7	hey, this happened to me too, or I'm currently in a marriage that lacks physical intimacy,
1:51.1	and I crave that, or just lacks intimacy in general. And her sharing her story is helping
1:57.7	others get really honest about their own situations and make decisions that
2:02.1	are ultimately better for everyone involved, where everyone can feel loved and desired
2:07.2	or connected, whether that's on their own or with somebody else.
2:11.2	We also get into what kept her in this marriage in the first place. I ask her about her
	...

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