Sometimes, avoidance will try to make you hate them so that you stop being anxious and

pushy.

In defense of people with an avoidance attachment style, can we be more compassionate, please?

If you're on social media and have any interest in psychology, relationships, or dating,

it's impossible not to be bombarded with the so-called attachment styles.

So do you have an avoidance or anxious attachment?

The question becomes urgent when it seems like all of your behaviors and relationships,

even your personality are tied to these types.

I'm Shayla Love and you're listening to Scientific American Science Quickly.

We've been talking all about what it means to be in love, and today we're diving into

the now infamous attachment styles, where they came from and what they really mean about

dating, falling in love, and having healthy relationships.

This feels a little like bragging, but I took an attachment style quiz and it told

me I have a secure attachment style.

Over the years, I've learned to really value and appreciate the secures in this world

because we don't tend to do that so much, but we tend to overlook that.

Amir Levine is co-author, along with Rachel Heller, of the book Attached, The New Science

of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, where a lot of the new

attention on attachment styles has come from.

Amir sings the praises of people with secure attachments.

They have a talent in relationships, but because they always show up, because they're always

there, because there's no much drama, we tend to sort of not see them as much and concentrate

...