I have an issue.

I'd say you have a few.

Let's talk about the one in hand.

My issue is that my apartment is fucking haunted.

It's haunted by whatever the fucking modern day equivalent of a Victorian doll is.

Uh-huh.

Because my husband, who likes stuff?

He likes stuff on a level I don't.

That's fine.

We have found our way through this in our marriage.

Your husband and I have often, like, I am also a consumerist and we do bond over that.

Yes. But I am, I'm not even competing in the Olympics. Yeah. And he's the gold medalist

for, four Olympics running in consumerism. Yeah. Yeah. You went pro a long time ago,

but he's maintaining amateur status so he can compete. He bought these fucking dolls and statues. I don't know what

they are, little plastic sculptures that are like trendy right now. I don't know what they're

called. They have exes on their eyes. They're the fucking ugliest things I've ever seen. And they all over my apartment can you show me a picture yep

oh my god is that Elmo it's it's it's like some kind of knockoff Elmo fucking tricolor

hideousness okay listeners he's not exaggerating.

How many of these are in your apartment?

30.

I want the audience to know he's showing me more pictures.

And there's so many.

...