Why, hello there, and come on in!

Before I urge you to browse our selection of relics,

it'd be ill-mannered of me not to share with you this extraordinary piece we just got in.

A mysterious VHS cassette, its only markings are a government seal, and the word confidential stamped across it in red.

You ever heard the quote, Satan does not want an invitation, he flourishes on our curiosity.

Get out your popcorn for the four-hour tape.

Welcome to the antiquarium of sinister happenings and odd goings on.

The... The I'm a low-level U.S. government employee.

I just saw something I wasn't supposed to see.

You know that meme about how presidents and governors after getting elected

look super shell-shocked and stressed the next time they make a public appearance?

Like the first thing that happens after you come into powers that you're pulled into a room

and told all of the secrets of the world?

Well, turns out it's true.

As a matter of fact, it's a VHS tape. The four-hour tape was always a bit of an urban legend at the office. I'll be keeping the details of my role in

government very, very vague, but to be absolutely clear, I am very low level. My role is caked between layers

of bureaucracy and in the grand scheme of things, it's a pretty inconsequential role. Yes,

top secret meetings did occasionally happen in our building, but my focus is pretty limited

and heavily administrative.

So you do what any other department does when you're in the bottom rung of the hierarchy.

You discuss rumors, rumblings, crazy conspiracy theories, and everything in between.

It's water cooler conversation for us.

...