Hey girl, what's up with you?

Wait a minute, is this the right number?

It's the loser line.

Come on, just call me back.

If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this.

Let's say you're out at the club, and a guy approaches you with a superhero costume on and says,

I think I saw you on Spotify.

Oh.

You were this week's hottest single.

Hey!

Capao!

I like that.

Why is he going to be a superhero for that one?

Yeah, well, whatever you do, don't hog tie him in his own grappling hook.

I see.

Instead, grab him by the utility belt and say, where'd you get those tights, big boy?

And invite yourself to explore his bat cave later.

But before you do, give him the digits to the loser line.

So hopefully he calls and leaves an awkward voicemail that we could play on the air.

Voicemails like this one.

Next message.

Hey, Marcus.

...