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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch.

An in-depth look at the archers with me, Harriet Carmichael, Lucy Freeman, Matt Rodriguez-Pain, Jeff Thomas and James Everett.

Changed the order there. Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge. We began the week with Leonard trying to help David pack the dishwasher. Someone trying to help you pack the dishwasher is bad enough, but when they've only got one hand and they're a bit of a ditherer anyway, they need to count themselves lucky they got away without a fork in the eye. Leonard announced that he didn't know what to do in a brothel in between giving us a great deal of information about Frank Wellington,

a dead man we never knew and we're hardly likely to now.

Incidentally, how come two members of the Archer family

could just take a day off farming and go to a total stranger's funeral?

Normally David would bitch if he was asked to peel himself away from the cows

to take someone to A&E because her arms hanging off. Ruth wants Leonard to move in permanently in an effort to increase

her pensioner workforce and David likes having someone else there to deflect Ruth's rage. So that's

that sorted then. In the meantime, Leonard was invited to live in Singapore by his son. Ruth and David were working out how they could do a sort of swapsie, whereby they got shot of Jill, who now sounds too frail to retile the roof at Rickyard and all the other stuff they need doing, whereas Leonard is multi-skilled and can mend tractors, clocks and bikes at the drop of a hat.

Jill, anxious not to be deported to Singapore, to live with a family she didn't know, suddenly remembered it was her house and invited Leonard to live in it.

Tracy has taken over from Wayne at the pub as Wayne is going to play guitar on a cruise ship because people who have contracted Norovirus and who have to be moored off the Isle of Shepi for a fortnight while the bug races through the passengers like wildfire like to have something to listen to when they have their heads down the lavatory. I didn't know Tracy was a cook. The only thing I've ever heard her cook is beans when they're skinned and moss fritters or whatever it was when she did that foraging thing. She made haddock risotto and chips with a green pepper sauce for breakfast, which made Brad hide in the library.

I don't blame him in the slightest.

Eat that lot and you'd be nodding off 20 minutes later.

After awarding Tracy the job, Jolene then retracted it 24 hours later after she'd cooked three lorry loads of chips,

gave it to Fallon, who actually hadn't definitely said she wanted it at all.

As predicted by everybody sane, Khalil blew the gaff on the whole beaver scenario. David went marching round to the rewilderating office and stood there frothing while Justin was baffled and Krusty defensive. Instead of giving in gracefully, Krusty actually doubled down. Honestly, if I was Justin at this point, I wouldn't let Krusty and Rex look out of the Lower Loxley School hamster. Chalil has now emerged as a hero in the

whole beaver debacle, and to add to his deeply peculiar character development, as well as being

...