Hey, KFC Radio listeners, you can find every episode of KFC Radio on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

It's another edition of KFC Radio, brought to you by Tommy John.

Tommy John made revolutionary underwear.

Loungewear, clothing that guarantees a perfect fit.

And they're getting extra ballsy this holiday season. Get it? I do. Because your balls are inside the underwear. That's what it is. But you know what? You don't even have to have balls to wear Tommy John. You can put your balls in there. But if you don't have balls, you can also wear Tommy John. Girls, guys without balls, everybody can wear Tommy John. They're comfortable. Although the comfort doesn't matter as much if you don't have balls, because balls are kind of what the problem is. Yeah, it's the issue. It's got to be so easy to live them like without balls. Yeah, being a woman is awesome. Well, in that department, yeah. Just like, you mean, even right now, my balls are bothering me.

It's like if I didn't have them.

My balls bothered me just.

100% of the time, right?

It's like 24-7. And what I'm not wearing my tummy job. Let's just have these things hanging. Like everyone's, I love when, when, not that this happens all the time, but when the people who know why the balls are outside the body love, you know, like, well, you know, the temperature thing.

It's like, well, you know, the temperature thing.

It's like, well, why doesn't your body just figure out how to make cum that lasts at 98.6? Doesn't that seem? Great question. Yeah, I don't know. Like evolution, rather than having your balls hang outside your body, just figure out how to make cum survive in hot temperatures. Yeah, they shouldn't. Well, but then we look so weird. but we wouldn't be weird if it was just normal.

Yeah, but if we did evolve,

we say we started evolving now and your balls just shrank up and disappeared. Wouldn't that be funny if it's like, you know, like a thousand years? Imagine if we were just like, now if we didn't have balls. And we were just like, people in the 1600s, they had fucking nuts hanging from their legs.

That's crazy, huh? That would be ridiculous. Yeah, so we'll probably have balls forever, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, if you can't get it done in 2,000 years, you're probably not going to get it done. That's what I always say. That's, you know, the old adage. If you can't do it in 2,000 years, you're not going to do it. Anyway, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this revolutionary underwear, balls are no balls until, you know, 2,000 more years from now, no matter what's hanging from your legs or not hanging from your legs, Tommy John will be around with guaranteed underwear that fits perfectly. They'll never have to pick a wedgy. The waistband never rolls down.

The legs never ride up.

It's the best pair you'll ever wear.

And it's a great gift.

This is actually a good thing for like, it sounds weird to be like, buy your father some underwear. But it is a good gift where it's like, I don't know what else to get this guy, but you know what people appreciate? A nice pair of boxers. Marty has never bought a pair of boxers.

Get Marty a pair of boxers.

Well, actually, the only time he does get boxers.

That's right.

...