Lemonada. I'm Gretchen Rubin, and this is a little happier. For years, I've been collecting my

secrets of adulthood, the lessons I've learned with time and experience, usually the hard way,

about how to navigate the perplexities of adult life. I often repeat these secrets to myself

because I remind myself of the same principles over and over. I learn them once, but before

long, I have to learn them all over again. Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.

What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.

And a strong voice repels as well as attracts.

In particular, I've learned many secrets of adulthood from my time as a parent.

No change has transformed me more than becoming a parent, and no experience has taught me more lessons.

For instance, as the parent of two young adult daughters, I repeat to myself,

at some point, a parent must shift from coach to cheerleader. I passed that point a few

years ago. I remind myself of this secret whenever I have the urge to lecture, inform, nudge, or suggest,

which is often. These days, I'm a cheerleader, not a coach. My proper role is to shout encouragement from the sidelines, not direct the action.

My daughters were relieved when I figured out this secret of adulthood. No tool fits every hand.

In the past, I'd prod my daughters to work at their desks instead of on their beds.

I'd urge them to turn off their music so they could concentrate in silence.

I'd suggest that they do high-intensity weight training instead of Pilates or boxing,

because it's a more efficient form of exercise.

But finally, I understood that desks, silence, and weight training are tools that work very well for me.

No tool fits every hand, and different approaches work better for my daughters.

There's another secret of adulthood for parents, and for anyone, really, that puzzled me for a long time.

I couldn't figure it out. I loved my daughters with all my heart, and I accepted them just as they were.

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