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I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is A Little Happier.

Recently, I read a book called You're Not Listening, What You're Missing,

and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy. It included a passage that I found myself going back to reread

over and over, and I wasn't really sure why it caught my attention so much.

You're not listening is a book about the importance of listening, really listening.

In the book, she describes how she went to observe some clinicians who were being trained at how to

work with parents and children. These trainees were being scored on many dimensions,

including several aspects of listening, such as body position and emotional awareness.

Kate Murphy recounts one session that she observed.

A clinician was seated with a mother and child at a low table in a room full of squealing toddlers.

One of the clinicians' arms was resting comfortably on the table, and the other was on a chair back,

creating an imaginary bubble encompassing both parent and child.

The child was playing with play dough. The mother was looking elsewhere,

sighing, and at one point, even calling her child weird for playing make-believe.

...