Little Happier: How Eating a Second Ice-Cream Cone Can Be an Act of Obliger-Rebellion

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Lemonada Media

Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.7 • 13.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 August 2020

⏱️ 4 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In Karl Ove Knausgaard’s essay “Summer,” he perfectly describes an example of Obliger-rebellion that’s turned toward the self: he eats a second ice-cream cone in front of the envious eyes of his children. Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; podcast@gretchenrubin.com Get in touch on Instagram: @GretchenRubin Get the podcast show notes by email every week here: http://gretchenrubin.com/#newsletter Order a copy of Gretchen’s new book OUTER ORDER, INNER CALM here: http://outerorderinnercalmbook.com Leave a voicemail message on: 774-277-9336 For information about advertisers and promo codes, go to happiercast.com/sponsors. Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Do The Thing, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell your friends! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm Gretchen Rubin and this is a little happier.
0:03.6	I created a personality framework called the Four Attendancies and I've spoken about it
0:08.1	a lot on the happier podcast.
0:10.2	If you want to find out if you're a folder, questioner, a bliger or rubble, you can take
0:14.2	the free quick quiz at quiz.gretchenrubin.com.
0:18.6	For this little story, it's enough to know that obligers are people who readily meet
0:23.1	outer expectations but they struggle to meet inner expectations.
0:27.1	They keep their promises to other people but they often have trouble keeping their promises
0:31.2	to themselves.
0:33.2	Sometimes when outer expectations become too heavy, an obliger can fall into a bliger
0:38.9	rebellion, which is when an obliger meets meets meets meets expectations and then suddenly
0:44.2	that obliger snaps and says, this I will not do.
0:48.5	Sometimes it's small and funny.
0:50.8	Sometimes it's huge and dramatic.
0:53.2	Sometimes it's helpful.
0:55.1	Sometimes it's destructive in the way it blows up a situation.
0:59.6	Sometimes it's directed at other people like, I'm not going to answer your emails for
1:03.5	two weeks or I'm quitting this job where you exploit me.
1:08.4	And sometimes it's turned toward the self.
1:11.8	With ideas like, what the boss I have, you think I can exercise?
1:15.8	No way.
1:17.8	And sometimes a bliger rebellion can take the form of what seems like indulgent but in a
	...

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