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Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Little Happier: As an Upholder, I Needed an Obliger Friend to Tell Me the Right Thing to Do

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Lemonada Media

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement

4.713.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 September 2023

⏱️ 6 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

During the covid period, my daughter Eliza returned to live on campus for her final semester of college. She was told to pack lightly, and as an Upholder, I took that to mean that she should pack very, very lightly. But an Obliger friend had a wiser approach. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Follow on social media: @GretchenRubin on YouTube @GretchenRubin on TikTok @GretchenRubin on Instagram @GretchenRubin on Threads Get the podcast show notes by email every week: happiercast.com/shownotes Get Gretchen Rubin’s newest book Life in Five Senses to see how she discovered a surprising path to a life of more energy, creativity, luck, and love: by tuning in to the five senses. Now available - order here. Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.  Happier with Gretchen Rubin is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts— Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I'm Gretchen Rubin, and this is a little happier.

0:03.3

I often talk about my four tendencies personality framework,

0:07.8

which divides people into four categories.

0:10.4

If you want to find out whether you're in a folder,

0:12.9

questioner, a bliger, or rebel,

0:14.8

and get some information on how to use that insight,

0:17.4

take the free quick quiz at GretchenRubin.com slash quiz.

0:21.4

More than three million people have taken this quiz.

0:24.2

In a nutshell, the four tendencies framework is based on

0:28.4

how you meet or resist inner and outer expectations.

0:33.0

We all face two kinds of expectations,

0:35.5

outer expectations like a work deadline,

0:37.9

and inner expectations like your own desire

0:40.1

to keep a New Year's resolution.

0:42.0

So depending on whether you meet or resist

0:45.0

inner and outer expectations,

0:47.1

that's what makes you an a folder,

0:48.8

questioner, a bliger, or rebel.

0:51.4

For this discussion, I'm talking about the difference

0:54.5

between a folder's and a bliger's.

0:57.6

A folder's meet both inner and outer expectations.

1:00.9

They meet the expectations of others,

...

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