Welcome to the total soccer show and our latest batch of delicious listener questions, fresh from the oven of our inbox.

Today, we're tackling the tough topic of turf. We'll look at why Man City can't quite go the distance in the Champions League, and we'll hop in our Doloresans, gun it to 88

and discuss the one historical goal we would stop from going in.

My name is Ryan Bailey joining me today, a man who doesn't rock badly, he doesn't rock adequately.

He rocks well.

Taylor Rockwell, hello.

I do.

I try to rock at least above average, generally speaking, and then I try to rock well when I have the energy. So generally, you do rock well, just to confirm. I mean, for as much as a person who has trouble keeping beat and rhythm can rock, yes, I rock well. Oh, gosh. No much determinism has let me down there, they'll Let you down, rather, I should say.

Man, I just say, just don't let me play, like, drums on guitar here or rock band or whatever it is, and I think we'll be fine. Suggestion noted. Also, joining us, Taylor, is a man whose prose isn't flowery. He doesn't live in the Bowery, and whose marriage, his future marriage won't evolve a dowry. Hello, Joe Lowry. Ryan, these name-based intros are great.

I'm really happy with that.

I think... marriage, his future marriage won't evolve a dowry. Hello, Joe Lowry.

Ryan, these name-based intros are great. I'm really happy with that. I think they should come back, although I'm not sure you can do anything else with Taylor's last name, maybe his first name. Now I'm just stuck, though, going back to Taylor, you talking about rock band or guitar hero, if the four of us, Graham's not here today, but Ryan, if you, me, Taylor and Graham, we're to sit down and play guitar hero or rock band, what would our various instruments be? Because there's guitar, there's drums, there's vocals too, right? We could have a couple guitarists. I think we could actually make a full band here. Let's do it. I feel like I can answer this one pretty, pretty directly. Brian is vocals, Graham is drums, I'll take bass, sigh, and Joe is guitar. Okay. Deal. I do play a little guitar, not super well, but like enough to be competent in real life. And I think more than enough to be competent in guitar heroes. So I accept my position, Taylor. Excellent. I'm glad you accepted it. And then, Ryan, the rule for you would be that you have to accept that you have to wear the outfit that Dennis wears and always sunny when he becomes the band's frontman. So it's like a silver, sequinny, like romper jumper sort of thing with a flared collar. I think you'd look good in that. I think unpictitious some 80s, maybe some journey vibes going on. I like it. Very good. Let's get that arranged. And by the way, Joe, thank you for praising my rhyming intros. I'm glad Graham Rutherford isn't here because nothing rhymes with Rutherland. Graham is not with us. He's actually on his way to the United States as we record.

I imagine he's watching six screens at once.

Like he's got all of the row in the airplane tuned into different games.

In fact, if he can't watch games for like seven hours, what happens to Graham?

Does he like wilt?

I don't know.

I think he starts to melt back into the seat unless he can get everyone in his road to agree to put on different games at the same time. Hey, sorry, could you put on Syria over there? No, no, sorry. Yeah, Channel 4. Thank you. Thank you so much. I think of like the Arresta Development episode where Michael goes to the beach and instead of relaxing and having fun, he gets the group of kids to

build his housing development so he can see what it will look like. I picture Graham just having

everybody on the plane setting up like little soccer fields on their tray tables when they're down,

provided they're allowed to be down so that he's got multiple games to follow at once.

He's live blogging the stewardesses serving the meals in such, I imagine, at this point.

...