Listener Questions: Trauma and Relationships

The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center

Psychology, Religion & Spirituality, Mental Health, Christianity, Trauma, Health & Fitness, Theology

4.6 • 628 Ratings

🗓️ 26 June 2020

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode of the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen continue to address themes and topics related to listener questions. Today, Dan and Rachael take on the question: How do I engage the relational debris of trauma? Whether you are on a healing journey yourself or are supporting a spouse, family, or friends, our hosts talk about how you can engage both the beauty and brokenness of stories of harm when you are not sure either how to receive or be a good support. Throughout their conversation, you’ll also hear Rachael and Dan address the obstacles to and cost of healing from trauma and how to love well in the midst of trauma.

Resources:

Read “Honoring Our Embodied Trauma in the Midst of a Pandemic” by Rebekah Vickery
Read “Racial Trauma: The Marks We Bear” by Wendell Moss

Watch a video from The Allender Center about Obstacles to Healing

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thank you for listening to the Allender Center podcast.
0:06.7	I'm Dr. Dan Allender.
0:08.7	And I'm Rachel Clinton-Centen.
0:10.5	We're fiercely committed to providing hope and healing to a fragmented world.
0:14.7	And restoration for the heart.
0:17.2	Thank you for joining us.
0:18.5	Let's get this conversation started.
0:28.1	Thank you for joining us. Let's get this conversation started. Well, I'm here with Dan, and we want to keep addressing some of the listener questions that we received from so many of you.
0:37.8	And one theme that stood out so clearly in some ways, like all around this theme was
0:45.6	or questions around how to deal with some of the relational debris of trauma, whether it's
0:52.4	how do I engage my family in naming the harm that's come,
0:57.3	how do I love and support my friends or my spouse or the people I know who I'm becoming
1:04.7	aware are acting out of their trauma, but sometimes it's hard to discern when is it trauma
1:13.3	and when is it just someone being a jerk and what am I supposed to endure? And, and in some ways,
1:20.2	just the, um, the hard reality of when our beauty and brokenness are so intertwined and maybe what we're experiencing more
1:29.0	than anything is the brokenness and not quite sharing how to be a good support. And I think this
1:34.0	question is playing out on a collective level in our cultural right now as well, this sense of
1:41.6	like a huge traumatic story that's unfolding and not quite sure how to be a
1:48.2	good friend in the midst of racism, how to love well when the impact of trauma is just so above,
1:56.5	the way I would talk about is just so above ground right now. It's not as much underneath. Everything's
2:03.4	out and exposed. And I think sometimes when we're dealing with the relational debris of trauma,
2:10.2	that can be what it feels like. And so we're going to just spend some time talking about some of
	...

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