So the reality is that you know you can make a good decision and then the world can act badly as a consequence of that right so things can happen so think about something like I don't know what poker, right?

In poker, you can play the best hand you can

and somebody else has a better hand,

or something else happened,

or you can say, you made a really good decision

to buy a home and then some crisis happened or a hurricane came and so on.

So we need to separate our decisions from their outcome.

And we need to focus on our decisions

because that's what we have control over.

And it's true for lots of things in life, right?

That there's lots of randomness.

And you can make the best decision possible and then something else can happen in the world and then the outcome of that decision is bad.

But if you made the right decision, then it's okay.

Right, so as long as you focus on the decision it's okay. So as long as you focus on the decision itself I think I think you're fine.

And the other aspect is to try and gain some control.

Basically say, I could have done things differently.

And this is very tough, right?

Because we have such an instinct of blaming other people and not want to take blame ourselves.

But the thing that the moment you take blame yourself, all of a sudden you say,

I could do things differently, right?

And actually, you know, sometimes when we break up romantic

relationships, so when we fire people and we say,

...