Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 2 - Definition and TikTok Reactions)
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 25 November 2025
⏱️ 32 minutes
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Summary
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Deservent Listeners, this is Chapter 2 of my deep dive on Limerance. |
| 0:06.7 | My name is Dr. Kirk Honda. I'm a therapist and a professor. |
| 0:11.5 | I thought I would start by talking about the definition that I am operating from. |
| 0:18.0 | And I revised the definition between chapters one and two, which happens sometimes as I'm |
| 0:25.3 | doing deep dives, as I am going over my notes and thinking about things, I sometimes think, |
| 0:32.2 | ooh, I think I should change that. And maybe by the end of this deep dive, I will change the |
| 0:36.4 | definition again. but for now, |
| 0:38.9 | I'm okay with this definition. I added some things that I think needed to be included. |
| 0:45.4 | So here's the definition. It's a bit of a mouthful. So stick with me for the entirety of the |
| 0:51.9 | definition. |
| 1:01.4 | Limerence is an intense, obsessive, involuntary, non-psychotic, romantic infatuation when reciprocation is absent or uncertain that causes excessive ongoing suffering. |
| 1:08.8 | All right, a bit of a mouthful, but let's break it down. So limerance is an intense, |
| 1:14.7 | obsessive, involuntary, non-psychotic, romantic infatuation. I added the non-psychotic |
| 1:21.4 | between chapters one and two. So let's drill down on these four descriptors. Intense, meaning severe, all-consuming, right? |
| 1:29.8 | Obsessive, meaning intrusive thoughts, rumination, compulsive thinking, this sort of thing, |
| 1:34.7 | compulsive behaviors potentially. |
| 1:37.1 | Involuntary, another word for this is ego-distonic, right? |
| 1:40.6 | So it's against the person's will. |
| 1:42.8 | They're unable to stop it like an addiction or an |
| 1:45.9 | itch that they can't deny or, you know, OCD, this sort of thing. So it's not something that people do |
| 1:53.7 | at least entirely willingly. There can be some willingness, some volition to the limerance experience, but overall, it's not a |
| 2:04.2 | voluntary thing. And then I added non-psychotic because I wanted to communicate to people |
... |
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