The You're listening to nocturne. I'm Vanessa Lowe. The quality of your sleep can play a big part and how you feel about the night.

But it's not simply a matter of good or

bad sleep. It can be much more complicated than that. Sure, sleep can be

delicious and it can be a torment. For some though, sleep can serve as both refuge and

captor. That's the case for Monica who's blessed with the enviable ability to consistently sleep through the night, almost without fail,

no matter what's going on.

During one of the most difficult times of her life, this gift became a painful liability.

But before you continue listening,

you should know that this story deals with something very sad

and you might want to leave yourself a little time

to have your feelings after it's over.

I'm Monica Wazoloska. I'm a writer and I am a parent of two boys.

Monica is one of those highly creative people who do their best work in the morning.

And so she's always set up her life so that the morning is free for her to write.

All through my 20s and my early 30s, every job I did after college was at night so that I could be at home alone during the day writing.

Her routine was pretty well set. Her day job would go till around 9.30

at night and then she'd usually get plenty of sleep before getting up to write in the

morning. That was key because sleep is really important to Monica.

I approach bedtime as this eagerly anticipated event where I can just let go of whatever has

been winding me up throughout the day.

I'm kind of a roller coaster person during the day.

I know I have highs and crashes all day long and the nighttime is just this time to lie down and breathe easily.

...