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Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

Let's Talk About Sex (Addiction). Jay Stringer Unpacks the Anatomy of Sexual Addiction, Predicting Destructive Lifestyle Choices, Why Healing Addiction Requires Curiosity, and Why Grief Has the Power to Change What You Desire

Win Today: Your Roadmap to Wholeness

Christopher Cook

Mental Health, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 528 Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2026

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sexual addiction is often treated as a behavior problem. Stop the behavior. Remove the temptation. Try harder next time. But what if the behavior is not the real issue? What if the patterns that bring shame, secrecy, and self-sabotage are actually revealing something deeper about the story you carry? This week on Win Today, therapist and researcher Jay Stringer joins me to unpack the anatomy of sexual addiction and unwanted sexual behavior. Drawing from research involving more than 3,800 men and women, Jay explains why these patterns are rarely random and how the unresolved parts of our past often shape them. We talk about why shame keeps people trapped in destructive cycles, why curiosity is often the first step toward healing, and why grief has the surprising power to reshape what we desire. Sexual struggles are not simply moral failures to suppress. They can become a roadmap that leads us toward the healing we have avoided. If you are stuck in patterns you cannot explain, if shame has kept you silent, or if you've tried to manage the behavior without understanding the story behind it, this episode will help you see why real freedom begins with honesty.

Guest Bio

Jay Stringer is a licensed therapist, minister, and researcher who helps men and women understand and outgrow unwanted sexual behaviors. He is the author of the award-winning book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, based on a multiyear research study involving more than 3,800 men and women exploring the roots of sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior. Jay is also the creator of the Sexual Behavior Self-Assessment and The Journey Course, a five-month program designed to help individuals identify and transform the deeper drivers behind destructive patterns. He holds an MDiv and a master's degree in counseling psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and completed post-graduate training under Dr. Dan Allender while serving as a Senior Fellow at The Allender Center.

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Episode Links

Transcript

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0:00.0

The Art of Leadership Network.

0:03.0

This week on Win Today.

0:05.0

So we all need to find ways to sanctify and transform the various aspects of our life that we're ashamed of.

0:14.0

Most people are pretty clear about what they want to be free from, but if you're not clear about what you want to be free for,

0:22.6

I can almost promise you the freedom from is not going to be that effective.

0:29.1

Hey, you guys, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for joining me this week. Before we begin today's

0:33.7

conversation, I want to offer a brief word to parents who may be listening with children

0:38.0

nearby. The topic we're discussing today involves sexual addiction and unwanted sexual behavior.

0:44.1

While our goal in this conversation is to approach this subject thoughtfully and with respect,

0:49.5

some of the themes may be sensitive for younger listeners. So if you have kids in the room or in

0:54.0

the car with you, you may want to pause the episode

0:56.0

and come back to it at a more appropriate time.

0:59.0

With that said, this is an important conversation about shame,

1:03.0

healing, and understanding the deeper stories behind destructive patterns.

1:08.0

Sexual addiction is usually treated like a discipline problem, behavior modification.

1:12.4

You know, just stop, just try harder, just pray more. But what if that framework completely

1:17.0

misses the deeper issue? Well, my guest today, Jay Stringer, has spent years researching the patterns

1:22.3

behind unwanted sexual behavior. What he discovered is fascinating. These behaviors are rarely random.

1:30.2

Rather, they're often connected to unresolved wounds, mindsets, loneliness, and the parts of our

1:35.2

stories we've never learned to examine. So in this conversation, we talk about the anatomy of

1:40.4

sexual addiction, why shame keeps people trapped in destructive cycles, and why curiosity,

1:46.6

not condemnation, is often the beginning of real healing. Quick story that I shared with Jay.

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