How come we as a species have yet to really crack the code on teeth whitening?

Or maybe we've cracked the code too many different way. When I go online and I say,

what's the best toaster oven? There's 19 different websites that all pretty much say the same thing.

I really trust America's Test Kitchen, but yeah, I know what you're saying.

Air purifiers, everyone's pretty much agree. Everyone's pretty much on the same page on that one.

Teeth whitening? People are like, well, I don't know. You want to drag a gooey pin all over your teeth.

You won't put a nasty strip in there. Do you want to shoot lasers in your fucking mouth into your

gourd? Do you want to apply some sort of resin to the inside of your body?

What's the pin one? That's how it's good. The pin one you do like, but the problem is that

one place says that teeth direct dot biz says this is the best one. And then every other one is like,

don't do this. It makes your teeth brown. Oh no, that's the opposite of what you want.

And then there's one that's like, you got to use these 3D white strips. You're going to love how

they make your teeth look. I guarantee it. And then the other websites are like, it actually will

make your teeth fucking dissolve right out of your head. And then you'll be a soup boy for the rest

of your life. Griff, as you're listing all these and you start like crying, yeah, I'm like, I'm

like put my hand under your chin and gently tilt your head up. So it's looking directly into my eyes.

Yeah. You are beautiful. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, my son told,

can't bring me a shirt. Sure. My son told me my teeth were a little yellow yesterday.

Don't let your son bully you. No, it's not bullying him. He's mirroring me.

Was that your two robots? Is that the first sentence he ever said?

No, yeah, that mall fixed your grill, dad. This is your spine. But I mean, like, yeah, you're

a little small. You could afford to grow up a bit. I don't have time to brush my teeth

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