Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about learning how to care for you. Have you noticed the term self-care is

everywhere these days. It's advocated by a zillion magazine articles, websites,

podcasts, not to mention your mom who saw someone talk about it on TV and called you to say you

should try it out. And that's good. We're glad. Because they're right. Self-care is so

important. And now, as we all go through the current health crisis, many of us are so

overwhelmed with life's new challenges. We're often finding ourselves running on fumes, anxious,

overworked, and overspent. And self-care, which was once so important, is now absolutely essential.

But what exactly does self-care mean? What does it involve?

How do you figure out what the care part of the term means for you? Because here's the thing.

Self-care isn't just about treating yourself. It's about treating yourself well. Think about what makes you

relax. What soothes you? Is it reading a

mystery novel in bed before you go to sleep? Or maybe it's having a Zoom call with your best friend

from college. It could be watching a rerun of your favorite series on TV, where you can repeat every

word with the actors, or going for a run in the early morning, just as dawn breaks over

the horizon. Or maybe it makes you happy to declutter. If so, clean out a closet and feel the relief

from getting rid of old stuff. The point is that self-care is very personal, and not the same for

each person. If you're having a hard time

figuring out what fills your tank and feeds your soul, think back over the activities you enjoyed

as a kid. What was it that made hours feel like minutes? Did you love to write? Then buy a journal

and write down your thoughts or create short stories. Was it drawing and coloring? Today there are many

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