Hello, it's laser stories.

It's the radio segment that's producing the sequel to The Hills Have Eyes.

It's called The Hills Have Elbows.

I'm not even sure what that means, but I'm definitely freaked out by it.

Still pointing, though.

Isn't that just a mountain?

It's Laser Stories.

The segment where we read, weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those other evil elbows just don't. This first laser story is out of Aberdeen, Scotland. There's a bar called Sober, S-O-B-R, where it's entirely alcohol-free. Oh, that's cool. Oh, that's funny. I thought it was going to be ironic and just really wasted people the whole time. It's actually right on the nose. They have non-alcoholic beers, wines, and cocktails. That's cool. That's cool. That's actually a good concept. And it was created for those who love the energy of a great night out without the hangover that follows.

Oh, yeah.

But just remember, you're going to remember everything.

Yeah.

Well, maybe the manager should have stuck to the menu.

Uh-oh.

And I say that because 33-year-old Hayden Gerardi is the manager of the sober bar.

And about a month ago, he was leaving his job driving home when he crashed into a barn.

Well, that could happen.

Maybe the barn jumped out.

Luckily for him, there were no animals inside.

But cops were called, and Hayden was just convicted of drunk driving after being caught more than four times over the legal limit.

Wow.

Again, Brooke, I bet you he doesn't even remember driving.

He's wasted at a sober bar managing it.

...