It's the radio

It's the radio that wants to make a small change to the Miss America pageant and only allow orphans to participate.

What?

That way, the broadcast get cuts in half because they don't have as many people to thank at the end.

Oh, wow.

No parents, no siblings, just get in, get crowned, get out. I was waiting for the punchline because I'm like, it's going to get better. It would not. It got worse. Yeah. You don't support orphans? Yeah. It's laser stories. The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other solo sashers just don't.

Hey, they got a lot of brothers and sisters to think.

This first laser story is out of Tensed, Idaho?

Is that the name of a town there?

Well, obviously, if you're reading it.

I don't know.

You're from Idaho, so.

Yeah, I know, but I don't know every town in the whole state, Jeff.

Wow. That's on the test. Yikes. Sorry. They didn't cover that in the state history in fourth grade. Well, out of Idaho, a 50-year-old woman named Helen Stolker crashed her car into a deer the other day. That happens in every town, Jeff. for sure. When cops got there, she told them exactly what happened, because it wasn't

her fault.

Yeah, it was the deer's fault.

I'm sure it jumped out.

Nope.

She blamed Bigfoot.

Bigfoot, like, threw the deer at her?

Well, apparently, as she was driving, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

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