It's the radio segment that's giving city squirrels a safe place to hide their stash

with a new invention called nut huggers, warm knitted pouches like tiny little bowling ball holders.

They're attached to trees and designed for critters to store their acorns, pine nuts, and

seeds, making sure their nuts stay safe and snug all the way through winter.

I bought some for my husband thinking they were for something else.

Oh, yeah.

Dang it.

A giant trunk sleeve on the whole tree, too.

Exactly.

That's our mission for every public park to be swarming with nut huggers by the end of the year.

Go nut huggers. Sign the petition now with laser stories.

This segment where we read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Those other nutter brothers just don't.

This first laser story is out of New Jersey.

A 31-year-old guy named Curtis Stokes invited a woman over for a booty call.

Hey, okay, Curtis.

And we know that because in the police report, it says he fell asleep before she got there.

So she torched his house.

She said his house? I mean, she put on makeup. It came over and he's asleep. That's annoying. Why did she put on makeup? He wouldn't have cared. I'm going to tell you right now. That is a waste of your time, Alex. I'm just guessing. According to the cops, Curtis had sent the late night text around 2 a.m. Oh, my God. And she didn't get to his place until around 4. Whoa. So maybe she was doing the makeup. You got a shave, you got to get ready. So by the time she got there, he was sleeping, and he didn't answer the door. She then texted him a bunch of angry stuff, including, you wasted my money for me to come out here. Yeah. And I see you want to die. Oh, no, she did. Oh, my God. Excuse me, that's not what I said at all. That's her way of flirting. I see. Anyway. She's playing not hard to get. Then the woman went to a nearby gas station, bought lighter fluid in matches, and set his house on fire. Yeah. Jeez, man, that would have been a nice session. I'm glad she left. She was passionate. Yeah. I'm glad she left a trail of evidence. That was smart of her, too. Well, he woke up to his place fully engulfed, and he couldn't get to the door, so Curtis had to forcefully remove an entire window frame to save himself.

He then ran to a nearby police station in just a t-shirt.

No mention of any pants.

He was ready.

...