I decided to watch Golden Eye with my son. He's a freshman in high school and I decided to watch Golden Eye with my son. He's a freshman in high school and I decided to watch Golden Eye with my son. He's a freshman in high school, and I decided it was time.

And you might think to yourself, nope, that, no, I remember that movie. It is not time. Well, you may have a point.

I had to ride that fast forward button a lot harder than I thought I was going to have to.

For those of you who don't remember, Golden Eye is the first Pierce Brosnan James Bond movie.

And I think it's a hoot. It was one of the first grown-up movies that I went to as a kid.

I didn't remember it being quite as shocking, as apparently it is in a few places.

But a couple, yeah, there are some things other. I don't fast forward when I watch it with my son.

We watch all of the shootout scenes.

Those are a blast.

Completely bloodless carnage everywhere.

And James Bond never misses.

It's a miracle.

Probably three or four times already in the movie, and we haven't even finished it yet.

Bond grabs it can AK something to something from a Russian, and he flops to the ground and squint

sexily and mashes on the trigger and just wiggles the gun around while bullets come out

and there's ricochet sounds and everything and then you cut to where the bullets are landing,

and every single one is hitting some Russian. In that world somebody gets hit by a bullet I guess it just launches them

into the air as they go screaming and we laugh and laugh at that but the other thing that I never

skip and I because I think this next thing is genuinely important and formative for my son we never

skip the villain's speeches, because all the villains

make the exact same mistake. They imagine that they're going to be gods. If they can just get

their hands on the laser, the weapon, or the McGuffin, or if they can just get enough of the gold,

...