Wastadowas. Wastadowas. Welcome to another episode of Yani Long Day's First Things First.

I got a lavalier on. So I can move around. I can do a little black comedy if I want.

I got to still hear too. I can hop. I'm ready to do a little physical comedy if need me because

a lot of people are complaining that my voice comes in and out. That's because I like to move.

I also like to adjust the microphone. Okay? I also like to adjust my pants and boxes around my

shween because I used to think my penis was getting smaller and smaller. But here's the deal. After

corona, I got skinnier and my penis was not getting stuck to the side of my leg as much. So I realized

my penis actually shrinks when I get fatter. So when there's more leg and stomach around it,

it pulls the penis into it. So there's a finite amount of meat down there that either gets distributed

into the pain when you're skinny and then when you're fat, that area is kind of socialist and

redistributes the mass into all the areas around there. First things first, let's cover some

bidness. I am back on tour and by tour, I mean I got two dates. One, of course, which is in Florida

because Florida is America in 1997. It's America's penis and it's hard, baby. So you can catch me

at the classy side splitters in Tampa. So look that up because I don't remember the date, but I got

a lot of time because it's in September. So I'm coming for one night only there. Get your tickets

for that. And in the immediate future, you can catch me at my good friend, Soul Joel, Joel Richardson's

club in Royarsford, PA, the capital of America. That is right. When we get attacked by China,

we're all going to retreat to Royarsford. Think of a plan and die like the Spartan 300s there.

That's what we'll die in Royarsford. It's a beautiful place. He has a heated dome so it's outdoor,

socially distanced, BYOB. Get your tickets. YannisPapasComedy.com or just Google it. I am there March 13th,

7 p.m. Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Royarsford, PA. We got a little peanut gallery here and here's

the thing when you get older. I got to take off the Magnum P.I. glasses and put on my old people

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