JEFFERSON FISHER: Staying Grounded When Tensions Rise

The Double Win

Michael Hyatt

Productivity, Teamleadership, Mental Health, Business, Leadership, Selfleadership, Personaldevelopment, Intentionality, Influence, Achievement, Selfdevelopment, Self-improvement, Management, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If your conversations are starting to feel more like combat, you’re not alone. In this powerful episode, Michael and Megan sit down with Jefferson Fisher—trial attorney, social media sensation, and author of The Next Conversation—to talk about the small shifts that create major breakthroughs in communication. From regulating your nervous system to choosing connection over triumph, this episode is packed with practical, actionable tools you can use today.

Memorable Quotes

“When you set out to win an argument, you often will lose the relationship. If you only see it as something to win, that means you’re going to lose a lot more.”
“Who wants to be around the person who always has to be right? That is somebody who is lonely.”
“Instead of seeing arguments as something to win, you see them as something to unravel.”
“You don’t have to like it. You just gotta understand it.”
“That’s the key with connection: I can disagree with you and still connect with you. I can still be unhappy, I can still be mad at you, and still connect with you.”
“You are in complete control of the pace of the conversation.”
“When you don’t say it with control, you end up reacting rather than responding. It’s just your natural fight or flight will take over and you’re going to start responding more emotionally.”
“You gotta let them pour it all out before they’ll ever be willing to accept anything that you say.”

Key Takeaways

Arguments Aren’t Battles. If your goal is to win, you’ve already lost. Reframe arguments as something to unravel, not conquer.
Start With Self-Control. Nervous system regulation is the key to effective communication—especially when things get tense.
Use “Small Talks.” Short, verb-based phrases like “be still” or “practice kindness” can center you in high-stakes conversations.
Connection > Agreement. We don’t always have to be on the same page to cultivate a meaningful relationship.
Confidence Follows Action. Speak with assertiveness, not apology. Confidence grows as you use your voice.

Resources

Watch on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/kJsQe3S3rw0

This episode was produced by Sarah Vorhees Wendel of VW Sound

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	When you set out to win an argument, you often will lose the relationship.
0:05.4	If you only see it as something to win, that means you're going to lose a lot more.
0:13.1	Hi, I'm Michael Hyatt.
0:14.3	And I'm Megan Hyatt Miller.
0:15.6	And you're listening to The Double Win Show.
0:17.2	Well, today we have a really fun conversation with our friend Jefferson Fisher.
0:22.7	If you don't know, Jefferson Fisher is that guy on Instagram who is a trial attorney who gives
0:29.0	you advice on communication.
0:30.5	And so if you're not an Instagram person, you've got to check him out.
0:33.5	He's got five million.
0:34.6	I mean, it's like everybody.
0:37.0	Women across the globe are in love with him.
0:39.6	That's what we know, including maybe my own mother.
0:41.4	I don't know.
0:42.3	Well, definitely your old mother.
0:44.0	But speaking for the men, we really just respect him.
0:48.1	Yeah.
0:48.4	I mean, he's just so amazing.
0:49.9	He's so amazing.
0:50.7	And we got to know him at a mastermind that we went to in Charleston hosted by our friends
0:56.0	Stu McLaren for business owners like us.
0:58.0	And Jefferson got thrown into the deep end because he, that's not his world.
	...

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