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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the archers with me, Harriet Carmichael, Jeff Thomas, Lucy Freeman, James Everett and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

We began the week with Adam and Roury continuing their performative farmer act, striding about in breaches,

leaning on gates and chewing straw while not actually doing anything. Have we heard either of them

on a tractor yet? No, didn't think so. Rurie, bizarrely, invited Adam on his date with Paul and then left.

It went so well that they were reduced to Jolene's box of chat. As a rule of thumb, if you

were ever reduced to using a box of conversation starters, then you should leave at once,

out of the lavatory window if you like, but just get out. No need for a conversation starter between

Jolene and Emma once the latter found out about George's hearing. Nope, Jolene had all the

conversations she could cope with once Emma caught up with her.

Talking of squealers, Mick and Susan chased a rat around the church,

like the Chucco brothers with the rent-a-kill contract,

and Susan was dancing on her tippy toes with excitement at the prospect of breaking the news to Alan

that he had a church full of religious rodents,

nourished by Sunday service and boxes of Kellogg's frosted wheat stored in the vestry.

This resulted in the nomadic shop going on the move once more.

It is now in the back of Susan's car, where she is selling tampacks out of the window,

like 99s out of an ice cream van.

...