Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from parents just like you all over the world.

Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

Is this really something to be proud of?

Some people's houses look like they don't even have kids.

You see it on the Instagram accounts of the picture-perfect influencers.

Or you go to a dinner party at a house that seems way nicer than yours.

Where is the evidence of the kids?

The mess, the piles of toys, the smudges on the windows and the walls?

You know these people have kids, but somehow

it looks like regular people live here instead of feral animals. Maybe this makes those parents

proud. Maybe this makes you jealous or insecure. But it's a spotless house with no mess, no

evidence of children playing really all that impressive? It may seem like you want kids who never

act out, but as we talked about a while back, obedient kids actually obscure a certain amount of

fear and intimidation. So unless your goal is to have kids who are scared to be themselves around

you, scared to mess up or act out, it's probably not what you want. Well, perhaps the same argument can be made

about these spotless houses. What's obscured in those Instagrammably perfect photos is the anxiety,

the arguments, the strange prioritization. Kids are messy. Kids are chaotic. Kids are dirty.

The more fun you're having, the more these things are true.

Whether they're toddlers or teenagers, evidence of their presence is not easy to hide.

And why, with all that's on your plate, with all the things you could be spending your time on,

your time together, would you spend it trying to hide their existence?

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