Is it okay to stay with my alcoholic husband?

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 23 February 2020

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today’s episode is raw and real. We all have our own personal reasons for staying or leaving when we’re in a relationship with a good person that is suffering from addiction.

In everyone’s journey there comes a point that we get real about our reasons for staying (or leaving).

That point comes at all different times and for all different reasons, but it will happen.

When I got real about why I was staying I found some pretty uncomfortable reasons that were hard to admit. Now, this is my personal story. These are my personal experiences, and of course, I realize everyone is different.

There’s no judgment necessary towards me (thank you) or towards yourself. We’re all doing our best, and each of our situations are unique and similar all at the same time.

Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/i-stayed-with-my-alcoholic-husband/

Join the community here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. So for today's tip I'm going to talk about a popular expression that says there are two sides to every story.
0:27.3	The reason it's popular is because it's true.
0:32.0	Usually during conflict in a marriage there is the responsibility
0:36.7	that needs to be owned by both the husband and the wife. And as some of you know, I was once married to a good man who suffered with addiction and alcoholism.
0:49.9	And I'm now remarried with six beautiful children. And just to go a little off topic for a second,
0:58.4	they are all upstairs sleeping right now because I had the brilliant idea and that's completely
1:06.4	sarcastic of starting a podcast during the summer. My office is right next to the living room and so I was so
1:16.4	excited when iTunes approved our podcast that I didn't consider I would need to record the sessions while my children were home and
1:27.6	not in school.
1:30.8	So I set my alarm for super early this morning while it was still dark outside so I could sneak downstairs and record this podcast for you with no additional background noise. So going back to the expression of
1:47.1	two sides of every story. I wondered if that was true with addiction. Do I have any responsibility for his drinking or drug use?
1:57.0	Is it really my fault that he makes hurtful choices?
2:02.5	Should I carry this guilt around that weighs a ton?
2:07.5	When he cuts me with his words,
2:10.2	did I do something to deserve that?
2:13.0	After a deep and long search of my heart,
2:17.0	I decided to give back the responsibility of his life to him. That's exactly where it belongs. I refuse to own
2:29.5	someone else's choices, but my healing doesn't end there. I went deeper because I know
2:39.3	owning his addiction or not owning his addiction wasn't enough.
2:44.0	I knew I had responsibility for my own choices.
2:48.0	The yelling, the blaming, the threatening to leave, but always returning. Why was I so afraid to leave? What was
3:00.6	some of the payoff.
	...

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