Dude, I almost had to fight my son.

No, okay, so.

What are you Irish?

I want to fight me, boy.

I got to fight me, dog.

Dude, I, this dude, he learned how to crawl out of his crib.

And I just heard his door creaking open. I go, what? I, this dude, he, he learned how to crawl out of his crib. Mm.

And I just heard his door creaking open.

I go, what though?

And I started my, bro, my adrenaline started pumping.

I go, I might have to fuck up like a home invader or some shit.

And like, I was ready to just explode on whatever, like, was on the other door.

You can go full pistorious on that ass?

Well, easy, easy.

That was an actual murder.

But, like, it was just wild to get in this moment.

I had this fighter flight response to the door creaked,

and I just see, like, a little E.T-style shadow kind of peeked through,

and then...

And then a glowing finger.

He's two.

Yeah, I started climbing out of my crib at two.

...