Indonesia: Not cool to date

The Documentary Podcast

BBC

Society & Culture, Documentary, Personal Journals

4.3 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2020

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Saying no to dating is part of a growing ultraconservative social movement in Indonesia being spread through Instagram and WhatsApp. “When I look at couples, I see my old self, how I used to be affectionate in public, holding hands, hugging,” says 23-year-old Yati, “and now I think that’s disgusting.” When Yati broke up with her ex, she didn’t just swear off dating; she joined Indonesia’s anti-dating movement - Indonesia Without Dating. Its leaders say dating is expensive, gets in the way of study, and - most importantly - is against religious teaching. For Assignment, Simon Maybin discovers it is part of a wider youth-led surge in conservative Islam in the world’s most populous Muslim-majority country. Opponents see the phenomenon as a backwards step for women and a threat to Indonesia’s religious pluralism.

Presenter: Simon Maybin Producer: Josephine Casserly Editor: Bridget Harney Music at the end of the programme was Tubuhku Otoritasku by Tika and The Dissidents (Image: Yati at an “Indonesia Without Dating” demo. Copyright: Simon Maybin/BBC)

Transcript

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0:00.0	When was the moment that you decided enough dating you don't want to date anymore?
0:07.0	When Kussmana broke up with me, I decided not to date.
0:15.0	I was depressed, I was at eating properly, I did dream all the time and I cried all the time.
0:25.0	23 year old Yatti hasn't just sworn off dating.
0:30.0	She's joined Indonesia's anti-dating movement.
0:34.0	I'm Simon Mabin and on assignment this week on the BBC World Service,
0:38.0	a love story, the young Indonesians falling out of love with dating.
0:44.3	We're walking down a big wide highway in the east of Jakarta.
0:48.5	There's various cyclists and cars going along the road. And next to us there's a group of 20 people marching holding
0:59.1	up banners with flags. They're in separate groups.
1:03.0	Young men in the front, young women at the back and the women are all wearing
1:07.5	hijabs or kneecabs, face veils. spread on social media by Instagramers and pop songs like this one. The movement's
1:27.5	message is simple. Dating is a waste of time, a waste of money, and most importantly, a sin in Islam.
1:38.7	It's a paradox. Centuries old attitudes to relationships sex and gender promoted on Instagram, Facebook and
1:45.2	what's app.
1:48.9	This demo is organised by a movement called Indonesia Tampa-Pacharan,
1:52.8	or Indonesia without dating.
1:55.4	Yatti, the heartbroken 23-year-old,
1:57.8	found out about it on their Instagram account.
2:01.0	She's dressed all in black,
2:02.4	and a buyer, a loose-fitting floor length overdress, a hijab, and an Indonesia without dating branded face mask.
2:10.0	When she takes off the mask, she reveals a warm friendly face.
	...

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