You're listening to the Impact Theory Podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers. Join host Tom Billiou, serial entrepreneur and co-founder of the Billion Dollar Brand Quest Nutrition on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. Everybody, welcome to another rousing edition of Relationship Theory. I'm your co-host, Tom Billiw. And I am here with the woman that I have just spent the last nine days just like solid with. And it was amazing, Lisa Billiw. What is up, homegirl? What's up, baby? Hi guys! Welcome, glad to be back. And kind of not at the same time. I'm 100% glad to be back. Yeah. But I really enjoyed our trip. I know. Really, really enjoyed our trip. And this sort of last like three days of the trip, I found myself asking like, how do I, even though I'm with you, Literally, literally, virtually every second of the day, the only time we spent apart was if I woke up before you, I'd go straight to the gym. But even the gym we spent together a couple of the days. So, I just, how do I get more time? More like, I don't know, I was like really wanting to just engage at the deepest possible human level. It was a lot of fun. Yeah, and even when we weren't interacting, we just like, I don't know, there's something Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio very unique and smart individuals. I'm 25 years of age and I love all of your advice you guys are sharing. How do you guys deal with your differences? Like when you don't agree on certain things? Alright. Well, our whole thing is communicate, communicate, communicate. So we talk through these things. We define terms which is a big big part of overcoming differences, is really establishing what words mean to each person so that I think in standard communication a lot falls between the gaps of what you mean versus what the other person means, what you're trying to convey versus what you actually convey, and then having rules of engagement. So how do we deal with when somebody upsets the other person, like how should you respond and react to moments like this? So one of the things that we do is if something really upsets a skits under our skin, one of our rules of engagement is to ask yourself the question, does the person love me? And as long as the answer is yes, and you know that they're not intentionally trying to upset you. So if they're not intentionally trying to upset me,

then how do I back into figuring out what they want? And one of the ways, and another rule of engagement, is to say like, I'm not sure what you're intending to communicate, but here's what I'm feeling. This is what you're making me feel. And when you say that, then it's like, whoa, like that's how I came across was not my intention

and that's really worked through that.

In terms of like cultural differences and things like that, then it's like, whoa, like that's how I came across was not my intention and that's really worked through that. In terms of like cultural differences and things like that, it really comes down to, okay, what are the things that are really important to you? What are the things that are important to me establishing those things? Like for instance, I'm not a religious person. I consider myself aggressively spiritual, but I'm not religious, but I had to convert to Greek Orthodox in order to get married in Greek church, which is very important. I was going to say, because you didn't have to convert, you had to convert if we were going to get married in a Greek church. But what I mean is, but you were willing to do it, right? Because that was important to me. Right. So Yeah, no for sure and

Us going through the process of you saying look I really want to get married in Greek church

That's very important to me and so understanding that

Converting to it doesn't change anything about me or my belief system or whatever

So going through that process is a way to respect something that was important to you But I wouldn't have known how important it was to you had you not communicated it. And then I communicated with you through the whole process. So I mean, it's like we could sort of keep going through each individual thing. But at a high level, it's really communicating, over communicating what's important, establishing rules of engagement, and then defining terms. I think those are sort of the three really high level items that we use. I think that you getting Christmas, though, that's actually a really strong example, because you didn't believe in God. I did. I was brought up in a very religious Greek Orthodox community. And for me, it wasn't, I need you to believe in God, because I don't think that that defines you, so that they didn't make it. a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r a'r ddod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gwybod yn ymwyr i'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio i'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweithio yn gweith as the sun tan thing. Like when we went on our honeymoon, and I actually mean our honeymoon,

not what you refer to as this vacation, I really loved sunbathing. I wanted to be by the pool, I wanted a tan. That was what I had known as a summer vacation. That was what I really wanted. And you were not Mr. Tan, you were not Mr. Paul, you were like, I wanna do activities, I wanna do things I want to read. And so again, we had like these two completely different

ideas of what a vacation was. And instead of just budding hairs, we're like, okay, so what do you want to do? What do I want to do? How do we make that work as one trip? So we found a place that had all these activities, it had a pool table, a ping pong table, had bowling, had go-carts, but it also had like three swimming pools, beautiful restaurants,

and so we basically split up our days. Well we would be in the sun during the day, you'd be under the umbrella, you would read, and then at night we would go and go bowling or do the go-carts or play basketball or something like that. Yeah, compromise, finding ways to make it work for choice. Yeah, compromise. Because I think that's the thing when people think differences. Sometimes they put their flag in the, is it? Plot the flag. Plot the flag. Plot the flag. They plant the flag and then there's no compromise anywhere. It's actually a really good point. Wanting the other person, the words I use in my own head are wanting the other person to win, right? Like wanting, wanting you to have the vacation that you want, I think is really important. And when you resent what the other person wants, it gets hard. Now, let's really get into a weird example working out. So I hate working out, just as like a general state of being, and then really on a vacation, the last thing I want to do is work out and it actually makes me feel guilty if you go work out.

So like how do you deal with that, right? So it is really random that this vacation I happened to

for whatever reason, like really get interested in working out as a way to earn my food.

So it was very different this time

and I worked out for my own reasons on this trip.

But historically, that's always been a problem.

And dealing with that has actually been

one of the harder things

because now it's something where normally we would just say,

okay, you do you all do me, right?

It's like, no, no, no, I'm vacation.

I'll write that.

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