Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM triumph 11. Jamie welcome to the program.

Thank you, Dr. Laura for taking my call.

Thank you. What's up?

I have an almost like unural daughter and she graduated with high honors but her last semester of high school was very difficult and she had one class that she almost did not pass.

And that was the only term or I should say semester that she did not have all A's and B's. And so we knew that she was struggling and mentioned to us about a year ago.

Wait a minute. What subject. What subject was she struggling with? I mean, you actually anticipated that your kid would never struggle with any subject?

No, it was just different than what what we had seen.

Well, yeah, because she was up against something else. So what was the subject she was having trouble with?

It was a science class and it was a required class and I think we understood at the time through our conversations with her that it wasn't a matter of capacity or capability.

She was slipping class and avoiding her work rather than it being an issue of applying herself and.

May I suggest that a lot of people avoid things they find difficult or upsetting?

Okay, let's go hand in hand. Some people hunker down and try to accomplish it. Other people hide from it.

So what what is the problem that you're calling with?

My question for you is now that she is an adult, how do I parent her in a way that parent what her parent what?

She struggled with a class. What do you have to parent? It's her job to be resilient through these kinds of challenges.

To realize her strength my way this is to understand her character faults and try to make that better. It's her job now.

I think I mentioned it just as a piece of the puzzle. I have some bad feelings about myself and my approach and how I parented her in the past and I know that it's never too late to.

Yes, it is yes, it is because now she's an adult and she's going to work with the good and the bad of everything she experienced in the past 19 years and make her way.

So you have to stop parenting as a way of alleviating your sense of inadequacy or guilt.

You can't do that to her to make you feel better.

I actually am. My husband and I have given her space and we have felt no I didn't ask you about space. I didn't ask about your husband.

I made a specific comment that it seemed to me that my interpretation of what you said is that in your opinion you sucked as a mother and so you want to know how to now do it right.

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