I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Jessica N. Turner on Loss, Identity, and Hope”

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.6 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 11 April 2025

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Description: In the summer of 2020, as Jen was beginning to process the loss of her 26-year marriage, there was one person walking her own similar but different journey, and understood many of the feelings of anger, grief, shame, and loss that Jen was just beginning to feel. Someone who knew how that disappointment felt. Jessica N. Tuner, founder of the popular lifestyle blog The Mom Creative, was a few months ahead of Jen in processing the loss of her 16-year marriage to her husband and father of her three children. Today, Jessica shared with Jen and Amy what the road to recovery has looked like for her, including grieving the end of the life she thought she would have forever, the change of her identity, navigating the messy false-starts, and clawing her way back from what felt like “the floor of hell”. Jessica compiled those hard-fought lessons into a book she’s hoping will be a manifesto of hope to others, called I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise From Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love. *** Thought-provoking Quotes: Nothing about what I thought my life was going to be, is my life now. Now I feel like I walk around in the world and I feel grief and loss and disappointment and dismay from everybody. It’s amazing how my eyes have opened. It was a big awakening to the loss people are living with everyday.–Jessica N. Turner When we made the decision to divorce, I felt like I was sitting on the floor of hell, everything was dust, everything was different.–Jessica N. Turner No matter how devastating the loss, the life you can still rebuild is astonishing. – Jen Hatmaker Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Say Anything film (1989) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098258/ Sixteen Candles film (1984) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088128/ Cameron Crowe - https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001081/ John Hughes - https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000455/ James Spader - https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000652/ Some Kind of Wonderful film (1987) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094006/ I Go Crazy by Flesh for Lulu - https://open.spotify.com/track/2o1AevEuv39qZAVy6k2pmn The Breakfast Club film (1985) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088847/ Weird Science film (1985) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090305 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off film (1986) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091042/ Planes, Trains and Automobiles film (1987) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093748/ Uncle Buck film (1989) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098554 Pretty in Pink film (1986) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091790 Beethoven film (1992) - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103786 I Thought It Would Be Better Than This: Rise From Disappointment, Regain Control, and Rebuild a Life You Love by Jessica Turner - https://amzn.to/40yC1fF Outlander - https://www.starz.com/us/en/series/outlander/21796 Onsite - https://experienceonsite.com/ ONSITE COURSE [BOOK ORDER BONUS]: What now? Practical steps to navigate disappointment and learn to dream again - https://bit.ly/3DTV4d4 Jen’s Maine MeCamp Bar Harbor Travel Guide - https://jenhatmaker.com/bar-harbor/ Going - https://www.going.com/ Guest’s Links: Jessica’s website - https://jessicanturner.com/ Jessica’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jessicanturner/ Jessica’s Twitter - https://x.com/jessicanturner Jessica’s TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicanturner Jessica’s Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheMomCreative/ Jessica’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/TheMomCreative Jessica’s Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/JessicaNTurner/ Connect with Jen! Jen’s website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker Jen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmaker Jen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Everybody, welcome to the show.
0:09.8	Welcome, welcome. Good morning. Good morning.
0:12.5	You look really pretty, like a model from like Santa Fe or like Albuquerque.
0:16.7	Oh. Well, okay. Yeah. Thanks for that. Yeah, you're welcome.
0:25.0	It's still, it's a little chilly here, and so you had to pull that.
0:28.1	You're still living in a barn, and it's a situation, so.
0:29.7	I packed on my sweaters.
0:30.1	Yeah.
0:31.8	I didn't.
0:36.3	My brain just thought, oh, when it's cold, we wear sweatshirts and puffies.
0:37.0	Well, yeah.
0:41.2	I forgot my workplace is a meat locker.
0:42.8	First of all.
0:43.7	This room right here?
0:44.1	Yes.
0:45.5	Okay, you know what?
0:47.0	I reject that.
0:54.9	I will tell you right now that if you go over there and you look at the setting, I guess this is the loudest train that's ever passed my home.
0:59.3	Let's just, we're going to, is it coming into the yard?
1:04.2	If you looked at the setting, it would say like 69 degrees.
1:05.4	And I want to tell you, what?
1:05.8	Okay.
	...

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