My wife is amazing. She's been there for me in the very worst of times in my life, always with a set of encouraging words.

We started out as friends, and I'd highly recommend that route for those of you looking for love.

If you can call your significant other an asshole without them throwing a fit, you've got a keeper.

There's just one issue.

It's her parents.

Most men in media are depicted as having a strained relationship with their in-laws, to be sure,

but this is different.

They were never outright cruel, but they creep me out.

It probably has to do with my father-in-law's profession.

Paul makes dolls.

Well, Marionette's really.

And he makes a pretty penny doing it too.

You'd be surprised to learn the sorts of things that rich people can spend their money on.

It was the most recent visit over to their house that really set me on edge though.

I slammed the driver side door of the SUV and leaned against the window with my face down,

staring at the concrete driveway. I was working myself up.

I knew that as soon as we entered their home,

I'd be confronted with the dead eyes of those damn puppets.

I could already feel my shirt collar beginning to cling around my neck from perspiration.

It's going to be okay. You always overreact.

I felt the gentle hand of my wife brushed the small of my back.

I twisted around and grinned.

...