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And for our Halford's Motoring Club Premium members, the deal gets even better,

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Halford's Motor and Club T&Cs and exclusions apply.

Visit Halfus.com for details.

It is three minutes after ten, and that's rather gratifying, actually.

Liam, you're very hilarious.

Liam Rice, is it the one about you stealing records from Woolworth's while on your

lunch break from a building site? No, it's not that one.

It's when we first moved to Kidaminster, and my

dear departed father wanted to treat my sister and I to a little gift,

because we had been uncharacteristically well behaved during the

long drive down from, um, from Yorkshire.

And he went to the department store, Owen and Owens. It wasn't Beaties, actually, as, as Andrew suggests.

That could have been though. That was the local department store in Wolverhampton, but we were

in Kiderminster where the department store was Owen Owen.

And he went in, the first time sort of as a resident of the Midlands, bordering on the black

country where the accents can sometimes be as thick as treacle. And he went into the shop.

...