When I walk in a room, no one can see me.

I mean, my license says I'm five foot, but we'll just leave it at that.

So, and I just because I'm so tiny, I feel very insecure.

But what I've learned over the years is everyone is insecure.

And if we go with that attitude and you walk up, chances are people are going to be relieved because they're not going to be alone.

And as long as you don't talk about the weather, which will get you nowhere, you can actually have some, you know, interesting, meaningful conversations with people.

Welcome to how to. I'm Carvel Wallace.

When's the last time you had to make small talk? I mean, if you're anything like me,

then you probably are cringing at the memory right now. I mean, I don't know what makes

it so hard for me to do this, but I truly hate small talk. It's like I either don't want to talk to the person

at all or else I only want to talk about immediately heavy topics like death, heartbreak, childhood

trauma. But as it turns out, small talk is actually kind of an important part of connecting

with other people. It can put folks at ease and make them feel safe and comfortable. But when small talk

stays small, you can end up getting stuck in the kind of awkward acquaintance phase, a connection

purgatory. And that's where this week's listener finds herself.

Hi, I'm B. I'm here because I'd love to get some ideas on how to talk to parents,

fellow parents at the school gates. Now, we're not using B's real name because the topic is a

little sensitive for her. You see, B and her husband and their six-year-old son moved from

Manhattan to a small village outside of London.

This fall, they enrolled their son into an equally small school.

I'd pick up, I'd drop off. I just tend to feel a little bit awkward and tend to dread those moments a little bit.

I've just been struggling personally with how to make conversation when you basically kind of passing one another twice a day on a daily basis.

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