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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner: Skills to Strengthen Sexual Intimacy, Connect & Communicate | Love and Relationships | E499

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Society & Culture, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 26 January 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Struggling with a dead bedroom? Talking about sex can feel more vulnerable and more terrifying than almost any other conversation in relationships, but it's the key to bringing back the spark. In this episode, you'll learn how to talk about sex with your partner in ways that strengthen emotional intimacy, reignite sexual intimacy, deepen connection, and help couples communicate without shame, fear, or defensiveness. If you’ve ever wanted more closeness or desire in your relationship but felt frozen when it came time to talk about sex, you’re not alone. For many couples, learning how to talk about sex with your partner feels risky—even when love is strong and the longing for connection is real. Fear of rejection, conflict, or hurting each other can keep these conversations stuck beneath the surface, quietly eroding intimacy over time. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Tara, a Kinsey-certified sexologist and tenured professor of sexual and relational communication, to talk about how to communicate better about sex in ways that actually build safety, trust, and closeness. We explore why sexual conversations feel so charged, how cultural conditioning shapes desire and avoidance, and what helps couples rebuild trust sexually after long periods of distance, rejection, or disconnection. You’ll hear practical guidance for starting these conversations gently, expanding what sexual intimacy can look like in long-term relationships, and taking responsibility for your own sexual self—without blame or shame. As you listen, I invite you to reflect on this question: What might become possible in your relationship if talking about sex felt safer, clearer, and more connecting than it does right now? Episode Breakdown 00:00 Why Talking About Sex Feels So Hard in Relationships 06:30 The Cost of Avoiding Conversations About Sex 15:00 How Sexual Communication Affects Intimacy and Connection 22:00 How to Talk About Sex Without Fear or Defensiveness 27:30 Understanding Your Sexual Self Before Communicating Needs 30:00 Redefining Sexual Intimacy Beyond Penetration 33:00 How to Ask for What You Want Sexually (Without Hurting Your Partner) 39:00 Navigating Sexual Differences in Long-Term Relationships 47:00 Rebuilding Sexual Trust and Attraction After Distance 52:40 The Core Skill: Knowing What You Want and Communicating It If this conversation stirred something for you—maybe a desire to feel closer, more confident, or more understood—you’re invited to schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure space where you can share what’s been happening in your relationship and what you’re hoping will feel different. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can thoughtfully match you with the right counselor or coach for your needs. It only takes a couple of minutes, and it’s designed to help you find support that fits, whether you’re working on communication, rebuilding sexual trust, or finding your way back to connection. Consider this a gentle next step and an open door, if and when you’re ready. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs  to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com

Transcript

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0:00.0

Being orgasmic, multi-orgasmic is a trainable skill.

0:13.0

Today we're hanging out with Dr. Tara TikTok's most popular sex educator.

0:19.0

This year I became a professional dominatrix. I went on a journey to

0:26.7

orgasmic hypnosis. I came really hard from being hypnotized. I went to a tantric sex retreat.

0:42.3

What if having better communication in the bedroom could transform your whole relationship and maybe even you. If you want deeper love,

0:57.7

happiness and success in your intimate bond, you need to be able to talk honestly about sexuality.

1:04.9

And that could be really hard to do. And I was teaching my sexual communication course, yet in my relationship, I didn't have them and I didn't do them.

1:14.6

So it was like you talk the talk, you don't walk the walk.

1:17.6

Dr. Tara is here with us today to share some research-back strategies and advice for how to create the kind of sexual and emotional connection that you truly want.

1:36.0

Dr. Tara, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Are you having an orgasmic day?

1:41.8

I'm having an orgasmic day.

1:46.6

Metaphorically, of course.

1:48.6

I can be both.

1:53.8

Metaphorically, literally, virtually, collaterally.

1:59.7

I love saying when I eat like really, really good food, I love saying that it's orgasmic.

2:00.7

Uh-huh. I'm going to have to work that to my, uh. So was this always true for you?

2:06.8

Were you always super comfortable about sex, sexuality, using sexual references to talk about

2:12.7

your lunch? Or is this something that you had to work towards in your own life?

2:16.7

This is something I work towards for sure.

2:19.0

I was born and raised in Bangkok, Thailand.

2:22.9

And Thailand is a very conservative place.

2:25.6

I grew up in a very sexually repressed environment.

...

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