How to Stop Letting Fear Control Your Life (ft. Dr. Julie Smith)
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast
Mark Manson
4.8 • 3.8K Ratings
🗓️ 5 March 2025
⏱️ 63 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You know that voice in your head that loves to tell you that you suck? Yeah, that one. The one that compares you to everyone on Instagram, tells you you’re a failure for eating cereal at 11 p.m., and insists you’ll never get your life together. Well, today, we’re calling in a professional to deal with that assh*le. Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist and viral mental health educator who’s built a massive following by actually making psychology make sense. In this episode, she breaks down how to quiet that inner critic, stop getting crushed by comparison, and reframe your self-loathing into something a little more useful—like self-respect.
We also dig into what it’s like to become internet famous when you’re an introvert, why emotions are not facts (even though they feel like they are), and how to stop letting social media, your parents, and your own bullsh*t beliefs define your worth. Whether you’re stuck in a shame spiral, wondering why life feels pointless, or just trying to figure out how to not hate yourself so much, this episode is for you.
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Use code IDGAF to get 10% your health services at https://marekhealth.com/idgaf
Dr. Julie’s new book, Open When: A Companion for Life's Twists & Turns: https://www.amazon.com/Open-When-Companion-Lifes-Twists-ebook/dp/B0D3CB1XX6
Dr. Julie’s first book, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Nobody-Told-This-Before-ebook/dp/B0983L6T32
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Chapters:
0:00 Introduction'
01:21 Using social media to improve mental health?
04:50 How Dr. Julie stays sane
07:01 When Dr. Julie has to take her own advice
14:01 How to deal with comparing yourself to others too much
24:21 The human capacity for resilience
32:56 How to be less lonely
36:57 How to know if therapy is working
43:19 What about nihilism?
52:13 Where do most parents get it wrong?
56:46 What about when you hate yourself?
Theme Music: Icarus Lives by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | All right, let's talk about that little voice in your head. |
| 0:03.3 | You know the one I'm talking about. |
| 0:05.0 | The one that tells you that you're not good enough, that you should have done everything better, |
| 0:09.0 | or that everyone else has it all figured out except for you. |
| 0:12.2 | Yeah, you know the one. |
| 0:14.1 | Well, today we're going to put that voice under the microscope with someone who has spent her entire career helping people manage it. |
| 0:20.4 | Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist and best-selling author. |
| 0:24.0 | Her knack for explaining complex mental health issues with short, super-engaging videos |
| 0:28.3 | has gained her millions of followers and made her one of the most popular mental health |
| 0:32.5 | educators in the world. |
| 0:34.1 | In this episode, we are going to talk about how to reframe negative thoughts and beliefs. |
| 0:39.1 | Why self-criticism is such a trap and how you can get out of it, what she has personally |
| 0:43.3 | struggled with since becoming internet famous, what it means to build actual resilience |
| 0:47.6 | and not just make resilience, why emotions are not facts, and much, much more. |
| 0:53.4 | So if you've ever felt stuck in your own head, struggled with motivation, or just wanted |
| 0:57.3 | a better way to handle the inevitable shitstorms of life, this one is for you, my friends. |
| 1:03.1 | This is Dr. Julie. |
| 1:04.7 | Let's get right into it. |
| 1:06.4 | It's the subtle art of not giving a fuck podcast with your host mark manson dr julie smith welcome to the show |
| 1:16.4 | thanks for having me all the way from britain having you here i have a i was okay i have a selfish question |
| 1:23.0 | for you to start out so you are a clinical psychologist. You rose the prominence through social media. |
| 1:31.1 | Social media at this point is well known for being terrible for mental health. |
... |
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