How to speak more confidently and persuasively | Matt Abrahams (professor, podcast host, author, speaker)
Lenny's Podcast: Product | Growth | Career
Lenny Rachitsky
5 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 31 March 2024
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Matt Abrahams is a renowned communication expert, with decades of teaching, coaching, and consulting experience. At Stanford University, he teaches a business school class on strategic communication. Beyond academia, he’s a sought-after keynote speaker and consultant, guiding presenters from IPO road shows to prestigious platforms like TED, the World Economic Forum, and the United Nations. His acclaimed podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart, garners millions of listeners, and his book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter, equips speakers with practical skills for impromptu success. With a previous bestseller, Speaking Up Without Freaking Out, Matt has empowered countless individuals to speak confidently and authentically. In our conversation, we discuss:
• The concept of “daring to be dull”
• The power of visualization to desensitize oneself to speaking situations
• Managing negative self-talk
• The WHAT structure for delivering toasts (why we are here, how you are connected, anecdote, thanks)
• The ADD structure for Q&As (answer, detailed example, describe relevance)
• Breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, such as the double exhale
• Concrete speaking structures like What? So What? Now What? and the Four I’s (information, impact, invitation, implications)
• Much more
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Find the transcript and references at: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-speak-more-confidently-and
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Where to find Matt Abrahams:
• X: https://twitter.com/tftsthepod
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maabrahams/
• Website: https://mattabrahams.com/
• Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ll0MwobDt1JW9gYaOONEo
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Where to find Lenny:
• Newsletter: https://www.lennysnewsletter.com
• X: https://twitter.com/lennysan
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennyrachitsky/
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In this episode, we cover:
(00:00) Matt’s background
(04:50) Techniques for managing anxiety in public speaking
(10:57) Dare to be dull
(13:40) Reframing anxiety as excitement
(16:08) Using mantras to boost confidence
(18:45) Managing negative self-talk
(20:03) Normalizing speaking anxiety
(23:12) Using conversation as a communication technique
(24:52) Using the double-exhale breathing technique
(28:29) Getting present-oriented
(29:46) Using tongue twisters
(33:34) Broad advice for speaking on the spot
(38:35) The PREP structure
(38:59) The What? So What? Now What? structure
(42:10) Toastmasters and improv
(45:31) Getting better at small talk
(51:05) The importance of sharing back
(52:33) Giving feedback
(56:31) Improving toasts and tributes
(01:02:57) Mastering Q&A sessions
(01:07:25) Apologizing effectively
(01:09:29) Closing thoughts
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Lenny may be an investor in the companies discussed.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Visualization is a really useful technique and you see yourself not just in the moment of speaking, |
| 0:04.8 | but getting up to the stage, seeing it being well received, thinking about how you step off the stage. |
| 0:10.8 | We see athletes do this kind of thing all the time and there's good |
| 0:14.0 | research to say that this desensitizes people. Most of the public speaking we do is |
| 0:18.2 | on the spot. It's not often you give a prepared talk. You actually have to prepare |
| 0:21.8 | to be spontaneous and that's |
| 0:23.3 | counterintuitive but when you think about it in athletics or jazz music it's like of |
| 0:27.0 | course you would prepare at practice. Are there any other techniques that you love that |
| 0:31.3 | you find people find really helpful in calming their anxiety. |
| 0:34.3 | Strive for connection over perfection by daring to be dull. |
| 0:38.4 | Just answer the question, just give the feedback, just be engaged in the small talk. By doing that you dial down the volume of |
| 0:44.9 | self-evaluation, freeing up resources that can be used to really help you succeed. See. where he teaches a very popular class on communication and public speaking. |
| 1:04.6 | He's also the host of the incredibly popular podcast, |
| 1:07.8 | think fast, talk smart, and the author of the very popular book, |
| 1:11.8 | think faster and talk smarter. Matt also coaches. author of the very popular book, Think Faster and Talk Smarter. |
| 1:14.0 | Matt also coaches people one-on-one on public speaking and communication skills, |
| 1:18.8 | and in our conversation we focus on the two areas that people most need help with. One, reducing their anxiety before and during any former public speaking and getting better at speaking on the spot, including giving better toast, giving feedback, doing Q&A, and even apologizing. |
| 1:36.4 | Like we talk about in the actual conversation, speaking well is a superpower in your career, |
| 1:41.3 | for interviewing, for being great in meetings, for pitching your manager |
| 1:44.8 | and ideas, to leading teams, and the skill becomes even more important as you grow in your |
| 1:49.9 | career. The good news is that you can get better at it with a bit of help. I've worked on this a lot over the course of my career and I still get really nervous before big talks and even before every podcast episode, but many of these techniques I actually put into practice and I share that in our conversation. |
| 2:05.0 | If you pick just a couple things from this episode to put into practice, you will become a better communicator. |
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