How To Set Them Up To Win + The 90/10 Rule

We Met At Acme

Dear Media, Lindsey Metselaar

Education, Society & Culture, Relationships, Self-improvement

4.2 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s solo episode is about a subject I am very passionate about: setting your partner up to WIN! We discuss setting them up to win in all stages of a relationship: from dating, to “official,” married, and with kids. Then we get into the 90/10 rule and how to achieve the perfect 90/10 in your own relationship.

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Website: @wemetatacme

Chapters

00:17 Setting Your Partner Up to Win: The Basics

01:20 Navigating Early Dating: Planning Dates

19:25 Understanding Partner Support

20:27 Navigating Job Loss in Relationships

21:32 Collaborative Efforts for Health and Fitness

22:00 Marriage: Us vs. The Problem

26:23 Encouraging Partner Growth

32:49 Achieving the 90/10 Balance in Relationships

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a dear media production.
0:17.8	Hey guys, welcome back to We Met at Acme.
0:19.9	I'm so excited for today's solo episode, which is on a topic that we talk about all of the time. I feel like I talk this subject to death, but the craziest part is that I've never done an episode on it. So what? Today is an episode on setting your partner up to win. And what
0:42.3	the hell that means? So it's essentially like the guide to setting your partner up to win.
0:47.8	And this isn't just for men. This is for women too. This is for everyone. And we're going to break it
0:53.5	down. This season is killer. This is the everyone and we're going to break it down.
0:55.7	This season is killer.
0:57.7	This is the worst allergy season of my life.
1:02.1	I'm also so swollen from my allergies and the fact that I just went to Hillstone and got spinach artichoke dip and a dings crispy chicken sandwich with fries.
1:07.3	But anyway, here we go.
1:09.4	So we're going to break it down from when you're newly seeing someone
1:12.8	to when you're in a relationship to when you're married and then when you have kids.
1:17.9	How can you set your partner up to win in all of said situations? Okay. So let's get into it.
1:25.5	So when you're newly seeing someone, planning dates,
1:29.6	okay, this person is not a mind reader. If they have a suggestion that you don't like,
1:36.3	this is your first opportunity to set them up to win. Okay. So, for example, let's say they're like, hey, do you want to go to like Bocca de Befe or some
1:48.5	like touristy place, like some place that just obviously is not good. And you have spent more time in the
1:55.0	city. You're more hooked up. Maybe you're in the food world. Maybe you have connections. Or maybe
2:00.0	you just have more common
2:01.3	sense about where to eat and what is a good vibe. This is your opportunity to set them up to win, right?
2:08.6	They've already initiated the date. So it's fine for you to now come back and be like, actually, Boka de Beppe,
2:16.0	I don't even know, Boga de Beppe, a real restaurant,
	...

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