How To Set Limits With an Ex

How To!

Slate Magazine

Business, Education, How To, Self-improvement

4.4 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 January 2025

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Guillermo and his ex-wife divorced nearly a decade ago. They share custody of their son which, Guillermo says, lets her continue meddling in his life. He recently started dating someone and it’s getting serious, but he’s worried that his ex is going to destroy his new relationship. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Bill Eddy, author and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. Bill explains how to set limits and impose consequences in truly difficult situations to preserve your peace of mind and foster happiness. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:24.5	Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup.
0:30.2	She went through a lot when they got divorced.
0:33.6	So I'm picturing my ex could act the same way, and I'm really scared about that.
0:40.0	Welcome to how to, the show where people come to us with their toughest questions, and we find an expert to give them guidance.
0:47.3	I'm Carvel Wallace.
0:48.7	I think we can all agree that breakups are hard.
0:52.6	Even amicable splits can leave us with hurt, pain, maybe even lingering
0:57.3	resentments. But if you ask anyone who is an expert on the topic, they will likely tell
1:02.8	you the same thing. I know it hurts, but it's time to move on. Like, sure, feel your grief,
1:09.4	sure, learn your lessons, but the more pain there is, the more
1:13.1	important it is to accept the loss and move on with your life. But what if you can do that,
1:20.3	but your ex-partner cannot? What if your ex is someone who continues to try and spark
1:26.5	conflict and confrontation with you,
1:29.0	no matter what you do, how do you move on from that?
1:35.3	And how do you find a new relationship when your old one is still screaming for your attention?
1:41.4	Well, that's the problem faced by today's listener, Guillermo.
1:45.7	I'm a single father of two beautiful kids, my daughter 18 and my son 10. And I met somebody
	...

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