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Love Over Addiction

How To Set Expectations In Your Relationship

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.81.5K Ratings

🗓️ 6 June 2021

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A loved one's addiction can sometimes have a way of making you feel that what you're asking for in your relationship is unrealistic. Can you relate?

But just know that you're not crazy for wanting those things. That's why it's important to understand the steps in their recovery (and yours!) that will help you manage your expectations in a healthy way.

Tune in to this new episode where I dive into Steps 8 and 9 of the '12 Steps' of recovery, which are about your loved one evaluating things they've done, taking responsibility for it, and trying to repair the damage that has been done.

Find more here:

https://loveoveraddiction.com/expectations/


Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast.

0:18.3

Hey, how are you?

0:21.5

So we are going to continue the series of going over and kind of going into detail

0:28.6

and explaining. Alcoholics Anonymous is 12 steps. Now, if you've listened in the

0:38.1

past for the past couple of weeks, you're going to like probably get tired of me

0:43.1

saying this, but for those of you that are new, first of all, welcome. I'm very,

0:48.0

very glad you're here. But when I talk about 12 steps, it is in no way

0:56.7

advocating or criticizing the steps. I don't struggle with addiction, and so I have

1:05.4

no personal experience with the 12 steps. The intention behind telling you about

1:14.7

them, and typically we don't do this on this podcast. We just focus on you. We don't

1:20.8

go into how to get them sober or statistics about addiction, per se. We just love to keep

1:33.2

the focus on you, what it feels like to love someone struggling with addiction. What

1:39.6

does, what are the pains, what are the fears, what are the hurts around that? But I wanted

1:45.3

to dive in here because a lot of you, including me at one point when I was married to my ex

1:51.2

husband, really was curious about, okay, what would it look like if I knew they were getting

1:59.3

sober for good? Like, what in my fantasies, what does that look and sound like? And a lot

2:08.2

of times we are convinced by addiction that we are crazy, and that what we want, or

2:15.8

we're asking for, or our desires, our expectations for our relationship is unrealistic, or we're

2:26.8

just a pain in the butt for wanting too much, right? But these 12 steps come from, and

2:36.3

they're written by two men who found kind of this community that live by this credo. And

2:46.0

I think they advertise what it looks like to get sober. So it's a good way to measure

3:01.6

if someone is really on the path of recovery. It's not the only way to measure, but it's

...

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