How To Save Your Marriage

How To! with Mike Pesca

Peach Fish Projects

Education, How To

4.3 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 1 December 2020

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Lauren and Carlos are afraid their marriage is at a breaking point. With Carlos out of work, an active toddler to care for, and another child on the way, Lauren and Carlos are feeling pressures familiar to many newlyweds—and the pandemic has only made it worse. Can we help this couple find their way back to each other? On this episode of How To!, we bring on John and Julie Gottman, who are not only co-founders of The Gottman Institute and co-authors of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, but also have been married to each other for more than three decades. They help Lauren and Carlos begin to heal their relationship with tips that can apply to all couples. For starters, you are not your partner's therapist, Julie says. Looking for patterns in their behavior will only drive you further away from understanding each other.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Tame a Chaotic Household."

Could you use some relationship advice? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius.
0:22.6	Talk about generational talent.
0:23.7	Coming to headphones near you on
0:25.0	April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss. Available wherever you get your podcasts.
0:30.6	Did you guys ever worry that this marriage wasn't going to work out? Yeah, absolutely, because
0:36.6	yeah, the disconnection feels like very big.
0:40.8	Yeah, when I'm mad, I think about those negative things, and I think that's almost normal.
0:46.4	But we are trying and we're giving our best.
0:50.7	Welcome to how to. I'm Charles Deweig.
0:57.0	Every marriage, of course, has its ups and downs. But with a pandemic disrupting people's jobs and lives, not to mention being stuck at home together all the time,
1:03.0	things can feel even more intense.
1:06.0	But what about when you worry your relationship is past the point of no return?
1:10.0	This week, we have two listeners who are desperate to preserve their marriage, but don't How about when you worry your relationship is past the point of no return?
1:11.1	This week, we have two listeners who are desperate to preserve their marriage, but don't know
1:15.3	where to start.
1:17.2	My name is Lauren.
1:19.4	My husband and I and our son, Alberto, we moved to Florida.
1:24.1	We're newly pregnant.
1:24.9	We have a baby on the way, so that's very exciting. My name is Carlos, and I am from Venezuela.
1:31.2	So I came to the U.S. maybe six years ago.
1:35.0	Then I met my wife, and yeah, everything happened so fast.
1:40.5	Lauren and Carlos have been a couple now for about three years,
	...

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