How To! | Quit IVF (and Start a New Chapter)
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4.2 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 30 September 2025
⏱️ 43 minutes
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Summary
After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She's excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she's also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureate. Ada offers Lauren guidance on finding strength and joy in this unplanned chapter of her life—and on rethinking our own expectations for our bodies and our lives.
If you liked this episode check out How To Become a Parent Overnight and How To Build a Marriage That Lasts.
Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.
The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | If I get my kid a phone, I'll be able to keep in touch with them all the time. |
| 0:02.8 | We'll be on it all the time. |
| 0:04.1 | He could walk to school by himself. She could see something, she shouldn't. He could chat with grandma. Friends, trolls. They can access anything on the internet. They can access anything on the internet. So, should I give my kid a phone? Growing up with phones isn't always easy. Introducing EEE safer Sims. Sims that help moderate usage and shield harmful content on any smartphone. |
| 0:24.2 | Choose EECF. up with phones isn't always easy. Introducing EEE safer sims. Sims that help moderate usage and shield harmful content on any smartphone. |
| 0:24.2 | Choose EEE safer sims. |
| 0:25.7 | Only on the UK's best network. |
| 0:27.5 | To verify best network see e.e.org. |
| 0:29.4 | I need posters, socials and a presentation by Friday. |
| 0:34.8 | Oh, I'm swamped. |
| 0:36.1 | Try Adobe Express. |
| 0:42.3 | It's fast with thousands of high-quality templates, stock images and fonts. You can even print and deliver straight to your door. |
| 0:45.3 | Really? |
| 0:46.3 | Plus, the AI features help turn your text prompts into images, captions and templates easily. |
| 0:52.3 | Perfect. |
| 0:53.3 | Adobe Express, the quick and easy create-anything app, free. |
| 1:00.0 | There's not a lot of people you can talk to about it. You might have friends that are going through it at |
| 1:04.9 | the same time, but then they're going through a different experience. If you're in an online group, |
| 1:10.0 | people drop off because they become mothers, |
| 1:12.6 | you know? Yep. Yeah. So it becomes so private and it can become more and more isolating, |
| 1:17.8 | the more and more your situation shifts. I'm Courtney Martin, and this is how to, the show where listeners bring us their toughest questions |
| 1:30.8 | and we find the perfect person to give them guidance. Today's episode is about the road to |
| 1:37.6 | parenthood, whether or not that journey ends with a child. We'll be talking about infertility, |
... |
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