With money comes more leisure time, more disposable income to spend on clothing and home decor and trips and all of these things that I'm not really able to do.

And as a person, those are not things I value.

But it's only when I'm comparing myself to my sisters that I wonder, am I living my life the wrong way?

Are we still in high school where they have figured all this out and I haven't yet?

Welcome to how to, the show where you bring us questions and we help you find people who have the answers.

I'm Carvel Wallace.

You know, family can be really weird if you think about it. I mean,

these are people that know you almost better than you know yourself, or at least they think they

do, people that you're going to have to deal with forever, even if you have nothing in common with

them. And people who even if you don't have anything in common with them, they still somehow

understand things about who you are that no one else on

the planet gets.

It's a complicated relationship that brings up complicated feelings, especially when it comes

to feeling like you belong.

That's where we join today's listener.

Hi, I'm Kate, and I'm here because I love my family a lot, and I know they love me.

But as a family, we're having a hard time figuring out how to spend quality time together.

Kate currently lives in Boston.

She moved there for school, met her wife, and settled down.

She has two younger sisters who were also married.

Rounding out the immediate family is Kate's mom and dad.

And all of that family, parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, all happened to land near Denver,

...